Banana, Bear, and Bophie

The Kind of Day I'm Having

2012-01-25T15:29:00.000-05:00

Every now and then we have one of those days around here. I admit they have been less frequent than a year or two ago, but things have been on a crescendo and I knew the day was coming. Dh has had to get up for the early Mass the last two days. The boys simply do not sleep through Dad getting ready in the morning, no matter how quiet he tries to be. So the last two days they have woken up more than an hour earlier than normal. Then naps were thrown off yesterday because they were both so tired. Mom, too, is still suffering from early pregnancy fatigue and is bone tired. I need a nap.

Then this morning hit. When dh called at 7:15 I had already had it up to my ears. Gabriel was overtired and would cry, or scream, or whine every time Joseph came within three feet of him. Joseph can of course sense this and hones in on the scent. My nerves were shot. Then shortly after breakfast they were caught with markers, hiding behind the rocker writing on the walls. OY!

The last straw was when I was summoned to the bathroom to find this:

Boys, seriously only my boys, would think to do this...

My (very meager) Witness for Life

2012-01-23T14:04:00.000-05:00

“Give us the grace – When the sacredness of life before birth is attacked, to stand up and proclaim that no one ever has the authority to destroy unborn life.” ~ Pope John Paul II, from a homily given in 1979

Each year I dream of attending the March for Life, each year it seems my commitment to the culture of life keeps me from going. This year another adoption and birth means we have no vacation time to spare and one mom with six kids in a packed red eye bus just sounds like a disaster. However, our church sent four buses this year. Praise God! My friends certainly have my prayers today.

Instead this morning my march for life was to take six kids to yet another doctor's appointment. I had to do this Friday as well. I know it is a small and meager offering, but loading up all these little ones (especially with the winter weather that has finally arrived), corralling them in a waiting room, keeping them entertained in a tiny exam room, and somehow through the chaos conversing with the doctor can be overwhelming for me. It takes more energy and patience than I have.

It isn't that my children are poorly behaved. In fact, I usually get many comments about how well behaved and helpful they are. I do wish I saw more of that good behavior and helpfulness at home. It's just that we are the center of attention from the moment we arrive. No matter how well behaved or inconspicuous we try to be, as soon as we walk into those waiting rooms all eyes are on us. Then come the endless well-meaning questions that leave me feeling like the bearded lady at the freak show. I muddle through questions, but I struggle with the inevitable responses. The most common of these is, "You must be a saint!" Seriously, what am I supposed to say to that? "You should've seen me twenty minutes ago as I brow beat them all into the car, then you'd never doubt my status as mom-- not saint."

Maybe it is just an over-sensitivity from years of feeling like a side show at the circus, but I think there is more than a curiosity about our family. I think some people convince themselves that I must be somehow different because if I'm just a normal mom like them, it somehow threatens their reasons for not having more children. If I am just as unorganized, impatient, battle-weary, and overwhelmed as they are, perhaps another child isn't as impossible as it sounds. Maybe these aren't even their real reasons for not wanting another child. This makes them uncomfortable and it is just easier to make me seem like the bionic, or maybe just crazy lunatic, mom.

Today, I tried to witness to life by more patiently answering the questions about my family, by showing what a blessing all life is. I know it isn't the same as the support of those dear friends sacrificing sleep, warmth, and convenience by making the trek to DC. It was, however, my calling today. It was a prayer on my part that our country recognize the gravity of the lives lost for mere convenience.

Happy First Birthday Peter!

2012-01-10T13:34:00.001-05:00

Today is Peter's first birthday. I have been asked at least half a dozen times (I do have half a dozen kids) if we could have birthday cake even though he can't. It is a bittersweet day for us. On one hand we are so thankful for this precious child. We anxiously await the joy we know he will bring our family and are so thankful he has been given the gift of life. We are also grateful we have been given the gift of sharing his life. It is difficult because we aren't there yet. This milestone reminds us how many hardships he has endured. In a culture that lavishes children on their birthday, we are poignantly reminded that today there will not be presents, there'll be no cake, nor candles, nor singing. He will spend another day and night in an orphanage waiting for the love of a family.

He is too young to understand all the preparations we are making, can't see the mounds of paperwork we are slowly but surely making our way through. He can't hear his many brothers and sisters who pray every day for him. He can't comprehend how his life is about to change. Soon enough, God willing, we will have him home.. and then we will have a true celebration!

**The pictures were sent to right after Christmas to show how well Peter has done after having his cleft lip repaired. He will have his palate repaired after we bring him home.

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas...

2012-01-05T20:54:00.000-05:00

My true love gave me a miracle. A beautiful, wonderful, amazing miracle.

Around Thanksgiving, I just wasn't myself. I was grumpy. Not that I am not normally grumpy (who me?), but I was unusually irritable and prickly. It was then I knew.

In the bottom of a basket in our bathroom was an extra test, because being the thrifty mom I am, when the package said "2 for the price of 1" I was sold. I was surprised, but somehow not surprised, when two little pink lines showed up.

I can't begin to describe the emotions I felt holding that white stick. Part of me was thrilled at the idea of another little newborn in our house. Part of me was in disbelief as we are knee-deep (or rather shoulder-deep) in another adoption. I know that part shouldn't surprise me as we have found we were pregnant during each one of our adoptions, but I was surprised. I also was overwhelmed. This third adoption took a little more of a leap of faith for us. We are tired, overwhelmed, busy, and yet as I've said before these emotions pale in comparison to the conditions in which our little Peter finds himself. More importantly, we are called to go back and help another little child. I just wasn't expecting this extra surprise. After all, I am older and we have had such fertility trouble. The natural space between our children has gotten longer with each child. I just assumed it would be longer this time if we were even blessed with another child.

Then, because of my history of miscarriage, I was worried. I immediately began progesterone shots. These shots make me more tired, more irritable, and are generally uncomfortable. If that didn't make me unlikable enough, I also banished all caffeine and my beloved Nice 'n Easy. To offset some of that unpleasantness, I began to take naps. I started blood tests and worries about every pregnancy symptom, but everything seemed to be progressing well.

Then three weeks ago I was scheduled for an ultrasound. I sat waiting in the exam room praying the Rosary, praying for strength, but expecting good news. I was somewhat taken aback when there was no heartbeat on that ultrasound monitor. My hormone levels were just where they should be, and more than high enough that there should have been a heartbeat. I was devastated.

I came home and broke the news to my family. We cried, we prayed, we grieved. One of my girls told a friend it was all okay, we were sort of used to this by now. My heart broke over and over again. I stopped taking the injections, I dyed my hair (oh my vanity). I tried to be normal. However, for three weeks I continued to physically feel tired, nauseous, and still just as grumpy.

I have always said the most difficult time is when you know you are going to miscarry and you are just waiting for it to happen. I feel like a walking tomb. You know the inevitable is coming and in some ways you dread it, but in other ways you want it to come swiftly so that the grieving process can be completed and life can get back to some semblance of normal. Not that I don't still grieve all my miscarriages, but there is something so difficult about this waiting time.

We celebrated Christmas and I tried to put aside how utterly exhausted I felt, and I still waited to actually miscarry.As we celebrated New Years, five of six children battled a stomach bug and I continued to not feel well. I began to fear an infection or some other complication because I still had no symptoms of a miscarriage, but the level of fatigue was really beginning to wear on me. I called and made an appointment.

This morning I had another ultrasound. Again I sat in the exam room praying Hail Mary after Hail Mary. I was again praying for strength. I knew chances were this was the last time I would catch even a glimpse of my little child. I was worried about a likely DNC, most of all I was just sad.

As I watched the screen, however, I began to see a little flutter. The technician said, "Here's your baby, do you see that flutter? That is the heartbeat." I knew what it was, but still I gasped. She didn't realize I wasn't expecting to see that beautiful, truly miraculous sight. I cried at the stunning way God has formed each of us. So hidden from us, here was a beautiful new life made to bring glory to our creator. The technician began checking other things, but I asked if I could see that beautiful child just one more time. She was happy to oblige an elated, tearful mom. She even flipped on the sound so I could hear the heartbeat. Oh what joy!

We are not out of the woods. I have had late miscarriages even after seeing heartbeats. Still, today was miraculous. A true Christmas gift on this eleventh day of Christmas. Please keep this precious child in your prayers. Pray for our family too. We again are going to have quite a year adding another two children to our family.

LOA

2011-12-15T09:33:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, at a particularly busy moment of the day, I received an email from our adoption agency that our LOA had arrived. This is two weeks earlier than we had predicted. This particular step in the process is very time sensitive. The letter is overnighted to us, and we must overnight it back the same day. We write one simple line, "We accept Pu Min Sheng," and sign our names. Such simplicity, and yet I want to write a thousand adverbs in front of accept, gratefully, joyfully, unhesitatingly, yet even the addition of a slew of those adverbs couldn't capture what we feel right now. We just want to bring this little boy home.

Now the paperwork picks up and we begin counting down until David will be able to travel to pick up our son. We still have 10+ weeks, but it is coming together. It was hard not to hang a stocking for him, hard to think of him so far away these holidays, hard to know he will spend Christmas and his first birthday in an orphanage. Still, we pray. We give him the only gift we can right now, prayers. We are given an opportunity to poignantly experience this season of joyful anticipation.

3 Years Ago

2011-12-14T09:50:00.000-05:00

This true gift from God was placed in my arms. What a blessing she truly is.

Thankful

2011-11-24T20:56:00.001-05:00

Last year at this time as we celebrated Thanksgiving and began Advent and Christmas preparations, we thought we were safe. Safe because we were over our quota, we had too many children. Even if we wanted to bring home another little child, we wouldn't be able to do so. That made things easy for us. Growing our family from three children to six in such a short time had taken its toll on me. I was struggling to figure it all out and there was a comfort to knowing we couldn't adopt again even if we wanted to. We put the idea of another adoption out of our minds. Somehow that lent a selfishness to our family.

Closer to Christmas I began reading a book that talked of orphanage conditions in that far off country. It was a book I only read because I was certain we couldn't adopt again. I read the book, and I wept. I wept for the children in that orphanage. I wept for my beautiful son and daughter who had most likely experienced some of what was detailed in that book. Little Juju weighed barely four pounds when she was found on the side of the road the day she was born. Poor Joseph's cleft lip and palate prevented him from getting adequate nutrition. My heart went out for them and those like them who were cold and hungry.

I thought then of my own stress. I was worried about pulling off a Currier and Ives, picture perfect holiday. Beautiful decorations, new presents, Christmas dresses, new jammies for perfect Christmas morning pictures, a cleaner home, dozens of cookies that would make Martha Stewart proud. I lost sight of what stress really was. Each night I was laying my head on a fancy silk fiber pillow, in a temperature controlled house, snuggled into a down comforter with an amazing warmth rating. While I struggled with preparing and cleaning meals, there was never a worry there wouldn't be a meal. Not just any meal either, we eat like kings; turkeys, stuffing, pies, much more than we need. We have fancy appliances to prepare meals, countless pretty dishes and gadgets. We have closets of clothes, and more in bins in the basement waiting for a child to reach the right size, and toys everywhere I turn.

These aren't even the important things. I have an amazing husband, I have six beautiful children who daily reflect the blessings of God. I'm never, sometimes overwhelmingly never, alone. I am so incredibly blessed and loved. We have an absolutely amazing extended family. Parents who make the most amazing grandparents, brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, so many people who love us. We have wonderful friends, a beautiful parish community, a fantastic homeschool group. So many people who enrich our lives in so many ways.

Stress? Really? These children might not survive the cold winter. No fancy down comforters, no thermostats, little food, little clothing, and most importantly little love. How could I be so blessed and yet think I was stressed?

Then right before Christmas last year we received an email that changed everything. It was an irrelevant message that started us asking questions, and then eventually it turned our world upside down. We could indeed adopt again....

This year I am so incredibly thankful for that privilege, again. Thankful for the reminder of the gifts we are given. Thankful for the many blessings little Peter will bring to our family. Thankful for the perspective he gives me as we head into another holiday season. No gift means as much to us as bringing him home.

Please pray for him. We long to have him here with us this Christmas, but know we still have months to wait. We want so much to lavish him with food, warmth and the love he so much needs. He still has a few cold months in a place with no family, no warm holiday mornings. All we can offer him right now is our prayers.

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T22:35:00.001-05:00

Psalm100

A Psalmof David

Make ajoyful noise to the Lord, all the lands!

Servethe Lord with gladness!

Comeinto his presence with singing!

Knowthat the Lord is God!

It ishe that made us, and we are his;

we arehis people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enterhis gates with thanksgiving,

and hiscourts with praise!

Givethanks to him, bless his name!

For theLord is good;

hissteadfast love endures for ever,

and hisfaithfulness to all generations.

Tidbits

2011-11-10T19:32:00.001-05:00

Dh has had to be into work early all this week, and he has been working pretty late. This means long days for everyone... especially me. Luckily these little ones make me laugh.

On the way home from our Children's Holy Hour, I told Catie if she couldn't do as I asked she'd have to write "I will be obedient" fifty times. Being the demanding mom I am, she would even have to look in the dictionary to figure out how to spell obedient. She claims she already knows how to spell it and begins rattling off letters, but is clearly getting it wrong. Juju interrupts her and says nuh-uh that's not how you spell it, it's E-I-E-I-O, in her all-knowing tone of voice.

During the Hour of Mercy, I was roped into holding a large banner as the little kids (1st grade and younger) processed around the hall singing a Litany of the Saints. In the hustle and bustle I lost track of little Gabe. I found him later in the line of children processing as well as the older children, hands folded and singing along, "Pray for us." He followed the line all the way to the sanctuary, hands folded, quietly in line. My heart melted.

The boys have taken advantage of the long days and have been even more mischievous, but they know how to score points with Mom. While scavenging the cupboards and counters, they overlooked the multitude of leftover Halloween candy and sequestered themselves in the laundry room with an entire container of grape tomatoes. At first I thought to myself how can I be upset about them eating tomatoes and not candy? Then I had to clean the mess on the rug in the laundry room. I am still finding random tomato seeds. I also had to change the multitude of diapers that followed... OY!

In the midst of all this, I have had two or three vivid reminders that the time we have with our children is shorter than we think. Right now the days seem long, I fall into bed exhausted and I wake too early still tired. My patience is thin, and the general noise level here seems decibels too high. Still, how blessed I am to have these children, to have another day with them, to have the comforts and opportunities we are given each day. They bring more joy than fatigue. I don't want to miss these moments one day, I want to enjoy them today.

The pictures are totally random and from a walk in a downtown park almost a month ago... I just can't seem to keep up.

All Saints Day Round Up

2011-11-01T11:02:00.000-04:00

Each year our parish hosts an All Saints Day party for the kids. This has been a favorite of my girls for years. Each year there are games, a parade, a pinata, crafts, door prizes, and more. The highlight, however, is when our resident priests try to guess the saints. This year Hannah decided to go with an easy guess because she just wanted to put together the costume. Here she is as Our Lady of Lourdes, yellow roses on her feet. She made a beautiful Mary.

Catie was all about stumping the priests... and she did. She went as St. Margaret d'Youville. She really impressed me though as she took the initiative to do a little research on this saint. She created a little card with her own hints to give the priest with things like, the first canonized saint of Canada and patroness of widows, loss of children, and more.

This was my first attempt at a saint costume many years ago, we seem to keep coming back to it. Here little Sophia makes a beautiful St. Therese of Lisieux. She too enjoyed hearing more about this wonderful saint.

Juju made a beautiful Mother Theresa in one of my favorite costumes to make. It was so easy, a pillowcase, a leftover scrap from Our Lady of Lourdes, and blue painters tape. Took me 20 minutes and it was a hit.

The boys were more interested in the games and the pizza and the cake, and still a little young for saint costumes, but I am already planning for the boy saints :)

Our Saints Day festivities were rounded out with pumpkin carving.

Always chaotic with six kids!! (you can even see little Gabe in the background eating raw pumpkin, eewww!)

And of course Trick-or-Treating...

Here the boys joined in.

Joseph went as Thomas (again), but this year he added a few train sound effects.

Little Gabe was so excited about his "airplane" costume. I bought these boy costumes almost 10 years ago when Hannah was a baby hoping that a boy would come along. I certainly didn't think then that it would take so long. For many years, I thought these little costumes would be relegated to the basement dress-up bin. Now almost a decade later they were the perfect little costumes for my boys.

I also went out and bought cute (and warm) butterfly costumes for Sophia and Juliana, and they love them. They have worn them around the house and wanted to wear them out with Mom. However, when the time came, they both wanted to wear their saint costumes rather than butterflies.

How could I argue that with these Saints in the making?

My New Homeschooling Motto

2011-10-20T13:35:00.000-04:00

Fight all error, but do it with good humor, patience, kindness, and love.

Harshness will damage your own soul and spoil the best cause.

-- St. John Kanty

Clues

2011-10-20T10:45:00.001-04:00

If you find yourself in one of those moments where things are just too quiet...

Chances are you're going to find a mess like this in your living room...

Then you might find yourself in another moment of panic when you can't find the baby -- anywhere!

Just remember to stay calm, remember the alarm hasn't beeped warning of an escapee, no one is crying, swear he was just at your side seconds ago, follow the clues...

And you'll find him

Opening Pandora's Box

2011-10-14T14:00:00.000-04:00

Have you tried Pandora?

We've been big fans here for a little over a year. We have a Veggietales Station, a Wheels on the Bus Station, Jim Croce and Michael Buble for Mom, and George Winston and others (which will remain nameless) for Dad. We can run it through our TV using this wonderful device, and so we often play it during chore time.

A few months ago I started singing "Don't Worry, Be Happy" to one of the girls after a long day of Math because, yes, I am just that cheesy. My radio dial is on one of two stations ESPN or (according to Sophia) "Catholic ESPN" known to most as EWTN. Since we don't listen to most music stations, my girls are pretty sheltered and had never heard such a song. Being the dork I am, I loaded up a new Pandora station... the Don't Worry Be Happy station which introduced my girls to such classics as Deo, Daylight come and me wan go home... (that can't be the title of the song just think Bettlejuice-- and the dorkiness snowballs), and other wonderful, mostly stadium rock type songs.

While listening one afternoon, I was caught up in cleaning and chores running all over the house. It soon became clear I was not paying enough attention to the music blaring through the living room when I walk downstairs to hear "Son of a Preacher Man" playing on our surround sound. While it has horrible lyrics, it apparently has quite a catchy tune. I quietly turned it off, not wanting to make a scene or call the girls attention to it. It soon became apparent I had not succeeded. Little (5 year old) Sophia hummed that tune for a few days.

Then yesterday she was belting out strains of "Son of a PIZZA man" all afternoon. That is the only line she remembers, but all afternoon she sang of this famed pizza man. I am not sure if it was more entertaining or horrifying. Yes, this clinches my Mother of the Year Award.

After awhile Catie picks up on the little ditty and starts to question it. I hear the following conversation going on across the house:

Catie: I don't think those are the words to that song.

Sophia: Yes they are! (I can just see the look on her face even though she is out of sight. She is giving her sister the most matter of fact look, probably with one hand on her hip.)

Catie: (Thinking about it for a moment more) No, I don't think anyone would write a song about a pizza man. Go ask Mom.

I know it's coming. I do all I can to prepare myself. A few minutes later this sweet, little girl with a pink flowered headband freckles on her face greets me in the kitchen. "Mom," she says, "Is this song really about a PIZZA man?"

My response?

"Yes, sweetie. Of course it is." Because, really, I'm just not going there with a five-year old.

Listening

2011-10-10T14:32:00.000-04:00

Last week Joseph and Sophia had a check-up with the ENT. Both of them have ear tubes and have to be evaluated every six months. We completely forgot the first appointment, things have been like that lately but that's another post. I've been interviewing for some help. We had a wonderful helper last year and the kids miss her, and I miss her more. Thankfully our new helper starts this week.

Since I was so busy, dh had to take them to the appointment. I am so appreciative that he can occasionally do this. He came home with just enough time to scoop the two into the car and then sped off. He didn't want to be late to our make-up appointment after we had already completely forgot the first. As a result of the rush, we didn't talk about any potential issues.

As they were in the waiting room he decides to take matters in his own hands and asks Sophia if she feels her hearing is better now that she has the tubes. She thinks about it for a second and then responds, "Well, I can always hear Mom when she is angry, but sometimes I do have trouble hearing other people."

Sheeesh that girl! Of course when there is milk involved, she hears it all.

More Alphabet Soup

2011-09-28T08:54:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we received notice of our PA (Pre-Approval). This means that our dossier has been moved from its place in one very long line and put into a much shorter and faster line for special needs children.

More importantly, it means we can post pictures of our newest little guy.

Blog World, meet Pu Min Sheng...

Known to us as Peter Matthew.

Or maybe Matthew Peter? (the jury is still out)

This little guy will turn one in January, making him a year younger than our Gabe. He has a bilateral cleft lip and palate that is a little less severe than Joseph had when we were matched with him. Joseph had his lip repaired in China a few months before we traveled. We are unsure if this little one will have that surgery or not. Either way, our hearts long to be with him, to care for him, to show him the love of a family. Please keep him in your prayers in the coming months as we continue to jump through the necessary hoops.

He sure is a cutie, isn't he?

All On a Friday Afternoon

2011-09-23T15:20:00.000-04:00

Before lunch I asked Bophie to pick up a few pencils that had rolled under the kitchen table. I asked again before putting lunch on the table, and again while cleaning up lunch, and again later in the afternoon. Her response? She didn't hear me...

However, later this afternoon, while I was running the vacuum (imagine the noise), and she was clear across the house, I quietly told the baby I would be happy to get him a cup of milk. She came skedoodling as fast as her five-year old feet would carry her and asked, "Can I have some?"

And after an hour and a half of asking this little one to take a nap, I relented and let her come downstairs. Lest you think I'm a softy, I only relented for fear of her waking the napping boys. That would only punish me.

This is what I found five minutes after relenting.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

2011-09-22T10:08:00.000-04:00

Made us a match!!

We can't share too many details until we have Pre-Approval.

I can say we are over the BLUE moon here!

Please pray for our little guy, he is only eight months old and it might be another six months before we get a chance to meet this little fellow.

Do It Anyway

2011-09-06T08:34:00.000-04:00

Because I am forever a day late (and often a dollar short-- especially if you only take cash and I can't use my beloved credit card), I am posting this beautiful poem the day after the feast for Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. My mom reminded me of it earlier in the weekend, and it seemed more providence than coincidence that I have that reminder right around the feast of this amazing saint of our times.

This was posted in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.

Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.

Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.

Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.

Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.

It was never between you and them anyway.

The Second Day of School

2011-08-30T13:30:00.001-04:00

I'd like to be clever enough to come up with alternate lyrics to "The Twelve Days of Christmas" detailing our first twelve days of homeschooling, but I'm too tired to be clever :)

On our first day of homeschooling, I was trying to bolster enthusiasm by having a special Back-to-School Breakfast. I splurged and bought juice (we only drink water and milk here) because the packaging read "nourish your brain." I'm not sure it helped get more math problems right, but it did lead to quite a few full diapers-- I should have remembered this is why I don't buy juice. All day long there was yucky diaper after yucky diaper. Just what I needed on our first day of school. The remaining brain food juice will most likely be dumped down the drain or poured into some mixed drink if I survive this first week of school. The latter option suddenly seems quite appealing. Our first day of school also saw a dumped container of baking powder, many leaves shoved between the screen door and the screen protector, and some raiding of a few upstairs drawers which led to the discovery of our old cell phone stash.

It amazes me how quickly my little ones learn the ins and outs of phones. These play ones don't cut it for Juju who wants a new i-foon (iPhone) so she can play antree burrs (Angry Birds).

Our second day has seen yet more after effects of the brain juice, a bloody nose obtained while army crawling on the floor (which meant blood spots every few feet or so), the dog ran away and Joseph got stuck in the briers trying to follow her and a then slipped inside and drank half my morning cup of coffee. Oy!

The thing is I find myself remarkably calm about it all. We're miraculously getting done with the all our work and despite the chaos, the routine of school has brought a peace to our home.

If you look closely at Bophie's drawing you will see it is a self portrait, complete with the hair bow of which she is particularly proud.

I was blessed to go on retreat for a weekend before this school year began and it has made a world of difference. I was reminded of all those reasons I began homeschooling. It was a lovely weekend and I am eternally grateful I was able to attend. The retreat centered around this scripture:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that he may grant you in accord with the riches of his glory to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to accomplish far more than all we ask or imagine, by the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

This is my prayer for our little homeschool this year, that Christ will dwell in our heart and that we are rooted and grounded in love.

DTC

2011-08-29T15:29:00.000-04:00

The Chi*nese adoption process can often feel as though it is a big bowl of alphabet soup, one acronym after the other. Today we hit a rather important milestone. We are DTC, which means Dossier to Chin*, which means our dossier of documents we spent the last few months gathering, getting certified, then couriered to be authenticated, have all been checked and double checked, translated and finally sent to Chin*. This means that in a few weeks we will have our LID (log in date) which means that our dossier has been accepted. After this we will have LOI and LOA and then TA, and the list goes on....

This is ahead of schedule and we are so grateful there were no major glitches. We were under a little bit of a time crunch, but managed to sail through the paperwork-- which is not an easy task. We are now at the point where we should begin the matching process. With Joseph we were matched so quickly and it was very hard for us to know him and yet not be with him. We hoped to minimize the waiting this round by postponing our match process. We have been praying all along for our littlest family member half way around the world and now those prayers will be redoubled as we are one step closer to meeting him/her.

GAK

2011-08-23T16:32:00.000-04:00

On Sunday the girls had some friends over after church. They played outside, we walked to the park, but we needed another little activity.

This one had been on the back burner.

School glue is on sale for 20 cents a bottle right now making this an inexpensive activity.

My surprise was that five young girls got such a kick out of it. The food coloring made it even more fun.

Not so fun are all the little bits I am finding dried on the floor :)

It was worth it though. I love cultivating such beautiful friendships for my girls. My house was so full of giggling, chattering, and silliness.

Neighbors

2011-08-13T21:15:00.000-04:00

I mowed the lawn on this gorgeous day. In a reversal of roles, I mowed the lawn and dh fed the kids lunch and cleaned the kitchen. It works for us. I like the hour and a half of alone-ness, the buzz of the mower and blaring playlist from my mp3 player mean no interruptions, and I get some exercise. Dh gets more time with the kids and to gain an appreciation for how my days go. It felt good to get out after the heat has kept us indoors the last few weeks.

As I was mowing, I came across this little scene:

It is part of an elaborate world my girls make for themselves in our backyard. Their imaginings keep them busy for many an afternoon. It reminded me of how I now have my own "world" that keeps me quite busy. I seem to always be trying to get it just right. It sometimes takes so much to keep everything running smoothly (ok, I'm not sure we've seen smooth in quite awhile) that I get caught up in project after project that I forget the world around me.

We live in this house that I strive to make a home. Our little bubble away from the hustle and bustle of the world, a safe refuge from storms. It can be easy to forget that this street is lined with families, each with their own struggles, their own stories, their own lives.

Today we found out that our next door neighbor, a man who told me he was so happy to have our swingset near his fence so he could listen to our children play, a man who takes the girls and helps them pick his excess tomato crop to bring to us, a father and a grandfather, a husband of many years, has only two to four weeks to live. As I mowed the lawn I watched a seemingly endless line of friends and family go in and out of their house. I imagine the next few weeks will see quite a bit of that.

Somehow I was brought back to that little world my children created, and the seemingly bigger world I try to create, and the even bigger world that has been this man's life. I wondered if God saw his life with the affection I felt towards those little reminders of my children's endeavors.

I will be praying for him, for his wife, and his family.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-08-11T23:13:00.000-04:00

Peach Picking Edition

Nothing signals late summer more than ripening peaches on the tree. A few years ago a friend recommended a family run orchard where we could pick absolutely delicious peaches. We've been hooked ever since.

{pretty}

Rows and rows of peach trees and having so many children means lots of helpers. The grandfather who runs the orchard even gave each of them their own baskets to help.

They are delicious and are one of my favorite August foods. The bright reds and yellows of late summer days.

{happy}

Being together as a family makes me happy.

{funny}

Gabe and his peaches! (See here and here)

{real}

All those peaches can sometimes be a lot of work. Thankfully, we also have lots of helpers for that.

With so many peaches we, of course, had to have some cobbler.

While these last two pictures definitely fall under the pretty and happy categories, I put them in the real category because of all the calories they are adding to my diet.

For more contentment visit:

Park Days

2011-08-11T16:10:00.000-04:00

It is an absolutely gorgeous day in our neck of the woods.

The sun is shining.

The clouds white and fluffy.

The perfect summer day to head to the park.

After a few morning set backs,

a trip to two different libraries,

and various errands along the way,

we did just that.

We went to the park.

Within seconds, Juju had to go to the bathroom.

Only there weren't any.

So we made do with a secluded spot.

Within minutes after that, Joseph needed a diaper change.

Another trek back to the car and we were set.

Then before I had finished, Gabe had a horrible blowout.

Another trek back to the car.

Only I had no extra clothes for him since his extra outfit was used last week.

Joseph had issues at the pool.

By this time, I was no longer enjoying fluffy clouds and beautiful temps.

We went home.

We went to the park today and all I got was this picture:

Maybe we'll try again tomorrow :)

Five Loaves and Two Fishes

2011-08-08T15:06:00.001-04:00

Last Sunday's gospel reading was about Jesus feeding the five thousand. The priest praying the Mass gave a homily that has provided me much food for thought (pun intended), especially as I begin the task of preparing for another year of homeschooling.

The gospel speaks about the sheer number of people that followed Jesus out into a deserted place. As evening approaches the disciples notice the growing problem of the hungry crowds and go to Jesus and expect him to solve the problem. They want Jesus to send the people away. Instead Jesus says to them, "Give them some food yourselves." The disciples responded with how little they had. They knew that five loaves and two fishes were certainly not enough to feed the throngs of people that had gathered. Yet Jesus has them bring him their measly portion and then, "he said the blessing, broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, who in turn gave them to the crowds." Not only were all the people fed from those meager portions, but there were leftovers-- baskets full of them. Matthew 14:13-21 was the full reading.

How often we are confronted with what seem to be insurmountable problems. How often we want Jesus to send away those problems, just like the disciples wanted Jesus to send the crowds home. We want him just to take care of the problem without having to give up anything. Instead Jesus wants all that we have no matter how insignificant and inadequate it may seem. He wants us to offer it to him. His blessing, and his breaking of that gift miraculously take our inadequacies and they are used for far more than we imagined possible.

Last week our new schoolbooks were delivered and in all honesty a weight was put on my heart. The task of schooling our children is my "crowd in the desert" problem. Sometimes just getting them all dressed and fed is a feat. In a few short weeks I add the monumental task of academic endeavors and continued faith formation.

I'm standing here with my measly five loaves and two fishes looking at the task in front of me and I think it may be utterly impossible. I'm impatient, often quick-tempered, sharp tongued, and easily distracted. I have only two hands to try to keep up with twelve. Can I really do it? I'm tempted to ask Jesus to send the problem away as the disciples did.

Father reminded me, however, that if we bring those five loaves and two fishes to him, bring him the little we have to offer, he will bless it, break it, and use it to accomplish what is impossible on our own. My five loaves and two fishes are painfully inadequate and yet, if I offer them to Jesus, he will feed the five thousand with them. Blessed and broken, with Jesus, we will have another successful school year.

Here's hoping that the leftover baskets will equate to laundry being done and dinners on the table :)

More Mischief

2011-08-08T06:39:00.000-04:00

A face like this must mean mischief, right?

In this case it sure did. It was the smile of conquest. A dare-devil climb that had led to the ultimate prize for a sweet-toothed, quite adventurous, little 17 month old boy-- Mom's basket of peaches.

He savored his prize-- the whole basketful!

Then, he left this in his wake...

And much to his father's chagrin, he also left this:

A Break

2011-08-06T16:55:00.001-04:00

I unintentionally took quite a blogging break... Here's hoping I can get back into the swing of things.

One reason for my break has been our lazy, but insanely early, mornings. These three think if the sun has risen (and sometimes even if it hasn't) they should be up.

The horrible lighting here lets you know this was a particularly early morning. Juju's hair and expression strangely mimic that of her mother's on those early mornings when I stumble to the coffee pot.

This summer, though, I have become adept at cold brewing my coffee (although I simply use my french press). I have had a hard time getting used to making the coffee the night before, but it is sure nice to have it ready first thing in the morning. It is also nice that cold brewed coffee has a higher caffeine content. I've sure needed it to keep up with these little ones, even if it hasn't helped me keep up on my blogging.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-27T05:44:00.000-04:00

--First Fruits of the Garden Edition--

Panda-monium Revisted

2011-07-25T12:42:00.000-04:00

Banana was supposed to have a big birthday party last summer. Traditionally we have family celebrations for all birthdays and something a little bigger for 5th and 10th birthdays. Banana chose her theme last summer, a tribute to her favorite animal and the trip of a lifetime she had recently taken-- the trip to China to bring home a little brother. Last year we bought decorations, favors, and even made invitations, but I just couldn't seem to pull it off.

Thankfully, Banana is the sweet girl she is and understood and patiently waited until her 11th birthday for her "big" party. It worked out well for her though. This summer the girls attended an art camp. Each morning for a week they went to a local studio and made an assortment of amazing art projects. Banana especially enjoyed the camp. She is my writer, my creator, my artist. It was during that week she decided to have her birthday party at the studio.

It was amazing. Juli, the owner, walked all the girls through painting their own panda (of course) or tiger (in keeping with the Asian theme).

One of the things I most enjoyed about the camp and the party was that Juli was able to walk the girls through these amazing projects and showed them how to create paintings and projects that turned out so fantastic, far surpassing anything the girls thought they would be able to create. Yet they did all the work themselves. Even little Bophie walked away with a beautiful work of art she painted on her own.

With a little help from Betty Crocker, I too had a creation that turned out better than expected. After Joseph's monkey cake, and Bear's polar bear cupcakes, I was put on notice to plan a panda bear cake. This turned out much cuter than I thought it would a few hours before the party began when I was lamenting having begun such a process.

As her friends were leaving, Banana looked up at me with a big grin and said, "That was the best party ever!" It meant the world to me. It was totally worth all the cake tutorials, how to draw a panda you tube videos, and the general chaos of party planning just to see the look on her face.

Thankfully I have a few years before anyone else turns 5 or 10!

A Labor of Love

2011-07-16T13:24:00.000-04:00

My first labor of love ended on this date 11 years ago with the birth of this sweet girl.

I would like to say it began on this day, but this little one's labor was 3 days long. Oy!

I am also not sure the labor has ended as I am frantic trying to put all the final touches on her Panda birthday party. You could say there is more than a little panda-monium going on here, at least more than normal. More is on the way too. Twelve tween girls painting at an art studio (thank goodness it isn't my house)! Birthday parties certainly are another labor of love- at least for me. Cakes, ice cream, banners, favors. Oy!

I'll post party pictures later, but for now I'll simply wish the sweetest 11 year old I know a very happy birthday! We love you Banana!

When They Are Sixteen

2011-07-09T10:28:00.000-04:00

I doubt we will find them each their own car-- for free.

However, at age three, we certainly did. We found these lovely little coupes for them at different times on the same street. They were just sitting by the curb and waiting for a new owner. They were also in need of a good car wash, which dh took care of with this:

His third Father's Day gift, which we really needed because of the stain the mulch left on the driveway. The electric air pump and the remote control motorcycle were also really needed :)

This third gift will clean my windows (hint hint dh) so I guess it was needed. It also did wonders for those poor abandoned cars, and now my little ones have wheels of their own.

Ones they love, and when they do turn sixteen, I'm pretty sure I won't want them to have cars of their own anyway...

Infinity

2011-07-05T10:48:00.001-04:00

We arrived a little early to our town's Fourth of July parade. The kids waited patiently.

OK, not this patiently, but no one needs to take pictures of how antsy they seemed to be getting...

At one point little Bophie wanted to show me her newly acquired advanced counting skills. She told me she could now count very, very high.

"How high?" I asked.

"To the highest number there is!" she replied.

"Really?" I asked, "What number is that?"

"Fifty-five," she matter-of-factly responded.

Clearly she could not have counted the pieces of candy she collected at that parade because I am certain it was well over that highest number of hers.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-06-30T21:57:00.000-04:00

Joining in with the lovely ladies of Like Mother, Like Daughter to

~ Capture the context of contentment in everyday life ~

{pretty}

This is my new hydrangea. After a grueling month of yard work we (and by we I largely mean dh) have cut down and removed two trees, one massive bush, and an evergreen. We also had a weekend of mulching, and bit by bit we have been replanting. I have always wanted a hydrangea and while I still have an affinity for the really old varieties, I am looking forward to watching this one grow.

My petunias are also really taking off this year. For the past three years I have ordered them from the Boy Scouts. They now seem to be reseeding on their own and the profusion of flowers makes a beautiful path to our front door.

{happy}

On Sunday we took a walk through the "downtown" area of our small town and had a beautiful afternoon. These little ones, despite (or perhaps because of) their boundless energy never cease to bring me joy.

At the end of our walk we stopped to see our community garden plot. Happily, we are starting to see quite a few fruits, or rather vegetables, of our labors. The girls were particularly glad to see this year be more successful than we were last year.

{funny}

I couldn't help but post another picture of Gabe at the piano. He just cracks me up. He loves to sit there and although he only hits a few keys, he sings his little heart out.

{real}

Can you imagine what I am in for when this little three year old is thirteen?

To Call or Not To Call

2011-06-27T21:21:00.003-04:00

Dh often jokes about the phone calls he gets from me at work. You know the type, the ones where he is diligently working to support our family, the demands and pressures of work exacting all his energy and then I call... AARRGGHH both boys are in the bleach I will be cleaning it up all afternoon... AARRGGHH if I hear two girls bicker for one second longer I'm gonna blow... AARRGGHH there's a toothbrush in the toilet what do I do... AARRRGGHH such and such appliance broke and I can't do what I need to do.

Today was one of those days. While occupied, I heard quite a thud. Since I didn't hear screams, I assumed all was well. Turns out, all was not well. Our large picture mirror had fallen off the wall and broken, thankfully no one was in the room. I spent lunch sweeping up pieces of it. I thought about calling dh to vent about things falling off the walls, messes that take hours to clean, and little ones who seem to be inexorably drawn to such things when I desperately need them to stay elsewhere. I thought about calling but remembered how frustrated he already was.

I had just gotten off the phone with him. He was frustrated at the news that the Consulate had rejected one of our adoption documents because a staple had fallen out as he was trying to photocopy the document. Yes, because of one little staple we now have to regenerate a document, take it to the bank to be notarized, then take it to the County Clerk for certification of the notary, then take it to the Secretary of State for certification of the County Clerk. After all this, he will have to hire the courier again to walk it into the consulate to get authentication. Needless to say this will take a significant amount of time and money-- all because of one staple.

I thought of all this and quietly cleaned the mirror, put lunch on the table, and went on with my day. Then this happened:

And I really wanted to call.

Instead, I quickly went to work and bathed two boys, then washed the cans and bottles (did you see the syrup dripping down the bottles?

Then I mopped the floor.

Dh came home to two freshly bathed boys already in their jammies, a clean kitchen, and a mopped floor. Needless to say, he owes me!

P.S. When dh was reading this post he graciously reminded me of these phone calls too:

AARRGGHH the printer won't work...
AARRGGHH a bird just died at our back door...

Child Prodigy

2011-06-24T14:49:00.000-04:00

My dear little Gabe has acquired some new skills.

It turns out he is quite the musician.

If the whole professional rock star thing doesn't work for him though, he'll have his monster computer skills to fall back on.

Mommy's Takin Us to the Zoo Tomorrow

2011-06-16T10:57:00.000-04:00

This week's installment of {pretty, happy, funny, real}

{pretty}

Pretty doesn't begin to describe the weather in our part of the country. The last week and a half have been simply beautiful -- not too hot, not too cold. I felt compelled to take full advantage of such beautiful days and have taken the kids to the zoo three times. The first time I even braved it on my own. The kids behaved so well I even sprung for the train ride, not a typical occurrence for this ~~cheap~~ frugal mom.

My Banana sure is pretty too. Growing much too quickly. She was such a helper as I schlepped all the little ones around at the zoo.

{happy}

This little one was quite happy to see a pink bird. Pink being her absolute favorite color.

And this little one was happy to ride the carousel, which made me very happy. Last year the noise and unfamiliarity of the carousel left her crying and screaming almost the whole time. This year, she asked to ride and although I see a trace of fear in her sweet smile, I was thankful she was willing to try it. By the end she was grinning ear to ear.

Having this stroller made me happy too. Being able to have all four little ones hop in so we can move a little more quickly made our trips that much more enjoyable. I was tempted to go with a smaller model to save the trunk space, but I have found the convenience of this stroller outweighs the inconvenience of no trunk space.

{funny}

Meet Gabe the goat whisperer. I am not sure what these two were talking about, but they were having quite the conversation!

Joseph my goofball!

{real}

Little boys and snakes. What can be more real than that?

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-06-10T10:53:00.003-04:00

Grandma Edition

{pretty}

Grandma spent the afternoon here last Saturday and after baths offered to roll the girls hair in rags so it would be curly for church. They all came out really beautifully. She also took the girls shopping so most of them are wearing new dresses to add to the prettiness.

{happy}

It makes me happy to see all the kids piled up around Grandma reading a book. I cherish these memories of my mom. Trust me, it is not an easy feat to read a book to that many little ones precariously perching on every available space on the rocker.

{funny}

The "before" picture of the girls in their rag rollers.

{real}

The boys also got new shirts, but trying to get a picture of them was not so pretty.

For more contentment visit:

Ice Cream Cones For Dinner

2011-06-07T14:16:00.001-04:00

Several years ago, when Banana was almost four and Bear was eighteen months, we had gone back to California to vacation and visit old friends. When we lived in California we attended daily Mass at a Carmelite retreat center. The daily Mass community, the priests, and nuns there became dear friends, so when we came back for a visit they offered us a room. The Bishop's room to be precise, the room right on the other side of the chapel and the tabernacle. I cannot put into words what a blessing that turned out to be for our family.

We left for that vacation when I was a little over thirteen weeks pregnant. I was entering the second trimester and had breathed a sigh of relief thinking my chances of miscarriage were now pretty slim. We enjoyed telling old friends, many of whom knew our struggles with infertility, about our coming bundle of joy and I was glad I was feeling a little better and could enjoy their company. During the second week of our vacation, however, I began experiencing symptoms similar to that of my first miscarriage.

As the grief began to fall over me like a tidal wave in that little Bishop's room I sank into bed just a few feet from the blessed sacrament and I cried. David did the best he could to entertain two little girls in a confined space and took them for a walk, but it was growing close to dinnertime and my girls were much too young to understand the emotions that seemed to be paralyzing me. Despite my overwhelming sadness, there were grumbling tummies and two girls who had been enjoying a nice vacation not sure why things were now so somber. Dinner plans had to be made.

Banana decided we should make a dinner of ice cream cones. It was a hot July day in Southern California and ice cream sounded like the perfect solution to her hunger. To that little four year old ice cream was the ultimate good. She had no comprehension of nutrition and even if I had tried to explain to her the ins and outs of the digestive system and the need for nutritious food, she wouldn't have understood. She only knew that ice cream sure sounded good and it was unfair that her parents were denying her that privilege. There was very little reasoning taking place with her. Eventually she had to trust that as her parents, the two people who loved her most, we wanted the best for her even if she didn't (couldn't) understand.

Later that night, after dinner (I can't recall what we ate but it was not ice cream) and a trip to the emergency room to confirm I had indeed miscarried, we returned to the Bishop's room. We put the two little girls to bed, and I laid on the bed just opposite of the Eucharist and cried more. David took advantage of the chapel on the other side of the wall and also went to pray.

In the midst of the grief, I realized that in so many ways I was just like my little daughter. I was the toddler who couldn't understand why such a good, this child I already loved, would be taken from me. I was angry that the desire for a child would be put so strongly on my heart and then taken away. Then, slowly, I began to understand that in the same way there was a gap between my understanding of nutrition and little Banana's four year old reasoning of digestion, there existed in infinitely larger gap between my reasoning and God's. The same way a four-year-old can't fully understand nutrition, there are mysteries that I, in my human understanding, would never fully comprehend.

Isaiah 55:9 reads:"As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above your thoughts."

In that moment, so near to our Lord, I realized I was being a whining, temper tantrum throwing four-year-old. I began to comprehend how much I needed to trust that God, who loves me infinitely more than parents love their children, wanted the ultimate good for me even if, like Banana, I didn't (couldn't) understand.

After four more miscarriages and countless other opportunities to abandon myself to God's plan instead of my own, I am still daily learning that lesson of trust.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-06-02T10:24:00.004-04:00

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

with the lovely ladies at Like Mother, Like Daughter

{pretty}

Yesterday was an absolutely perfect day for a picnic. In God's divine providence, it turned out to be the day of our homeschooling group's Annual End of the Year Picnic.

This year Coach Q of The Homeschool Gym came with fun games for kids of all ages. Parachutes, balls, flags, frisbees, tons of organized games for all the kids to play. My girls had such a blast running and playing and enjoying the breeze, the friends, and the activities Coach Q put together.

{happy}

I was happy to have some help keeping track of all the little ones. Earlier this year we found MK who comes three mornings a week to watch the little ones while I school the older girls. Her help has been an incredible answer to our prayers. She came yesterday and it was so nice to be able to relax knowing there were two sets of eyes on my littles.

With the extra help, I got a chance to visit and enjoy the winding down of our school year. The kids also enjoyed being with friends, making cereal necklaces, face painting, and some older boys even made balloon animals! It was such a fun day for everyone!

{funny}

Did I mention my girls enjoyed the face painting? Doesn't this just look like a girl ready for the summer?

While not a fan of the face paint, Gabe did enjoy the watermelon. I have never seen a kid so serious about his watermelon. He is certain to get every shred of edible melon, and even then will not let go of the rind. He chose the melon over a popsicle so I guess I can't complain.

{real}

My real pictures should be of the hour or two before we left for the picnic because that was truly an ordeal. Alas there are no pictures of my destroyed kitchen floors, nor of the now faded kitchen mats. There are also no pictures of two little boys in brand new outfits, ready for a picnic at the park, now ruined by bleach stains and crying because of the soap in their eyes.

It seems no matter how organized I try to be, no matter how much effort I put into being ready to go the night before, it is inevitable that some disaster will strike. Yesterday, while I was in the shower, the boys dumped an entire bottle of dishwasher detergent on the kitchen floor. We found that one particular brand of our detergent has bleach (a lot of bleach) in it. We're trying to use it up and in hindsight I should have just thrown it away.

Instead I do have pictures of the little work I did for our picnic. I set up a treasure hunt in the sand of our turtle sandbox, the sandbox that sits in our garage because dh doesn't like sandboxes.

It seemed to be a big hit. Although I suppose I could have had some great reality shots that evening when I had to bathe our boys because they were covered in sand and bathe the girls because they were covered in face paint...

Still it was a beautiful picnic and a lovely start to our summer!

Staying Cool

2011-05-31T19:43:00.002-04:00

We went from record lows earlier this month to record highs the last few days...

Temperatures in the upper 90's today.

Finally the arrival of summer.

Which I would enjoy a little more if our a/c hadn't gone kaput this weekend.

We are drinking lots of water. The sound of fans on high is a constant drum of noise that, while less effective than the a/c, does have the effect of drowning out some of the noise of three little toddlers. We have also taken refuge in the basement.

Today the heat was a little too much for us though, so we abandoned the last of the school work and decided to let the young ones nap in the car and drove to the mall-- I had shoes to return :)

It also seemed the perfect time to renew an old tradition in our home, the summer purchase of sunglasses.

From the time Banana was a toddler, I have taken her to The Children's Place for sunglasses. She would try on six or seven pairs, settle on one, and we would have them for about a week or two. Joseph, for weeks, has been carrying around an old pair of yellow flowered sunglasses so I figured it was time to get him a pair of his own.

I figure my kids might as well look cool as we make our best effort to keep from melting in this heat!

There is no such thing as bad weather. All weather is good because it is God's.

-Saint Teresa of Avila

Daughters...

2011-05-25T01:36:00.000-04:00

Tonight was the night.

A rite of passage as a parent.

It was the night I talked to Banana about getting older.

Yes, we began this talk a few months ago, but I knew the time had come to gently share a few more details. I agonized for a few days. Reread books to prepare myself. Mostly I prayed. I prayed for wisdom.

It turned out to be easier than I thought it would be. There were some moments of awkward silence, and as is my habit I filled them with silly jokes. There were moments I wished I were more eloquent. Still, it went very well.

Then somewhere in the midst of our conversations of soccer games and the latest Penny Parker novel, she flashed a smile at me. It was a moment I wanted to capture and hold. Hold next to those pictures in my memory of how beautiful she was when she was born -- this sweet, precious girl who ushered me into motherhood. The picture of her taking her first steps, of her sleeping peacefully on my chest, of her reading her first book, and riding a bike.

In that smile, I saw the last ten years and I wanted to somehow stop time so that I could spend so much more time with her. I wanted to hold her close forever. I wondered how it is more than ten years could have already passed.

Then, in that smile, I caught a glimpse of the moments we would have in the next ten years, and it was the only thing that made the passage of time bearable.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-05-19T13:58:00.005-04:00

The Backyard Edition

Since having the fence installed, we have taken every opportunity to let the kids play outside. Although we have a very small yard, it is nice to finally have a patch of green, be it ever so tiny, on which the kids can safely play.

{pretty}

This little one seems to quite often be my pretty picture. In this case not only is my sweet Bophie beautiful, but the new pretty headband was a sweet gift from a generous Grandma. I also love these lilac bushes that line the back of our yard. This year they were in bloom for just a short span of time, but you can smell them all the way to the deck.

I also think my freshly potted window boxes are a pretty sight from my kitchen window. I look forward to the fresh herbs and pretty flowers they will provide all summer.

{happy}

Green grass makes me happy. With all the rain we've been getting our yard seems so green this year. Pretty feet also make me happy. This week I had the privilege of going for my first pedicure with my mom and sisters on a kidless Saturday afternoon. Let's just say I hope this becomes a tradition repeated frequently, it was wonderful!

While I enjoyed being on my own for an afternoon, I was happy to come home to all these blessings. It makes me happy to watch them play with one another. Having lots of siblings means having lots of playmates. Moments like these make me happy.

{funny}

They aren't all those sweet moments, though.

This picture doesn't do justice to watching Joseph try so very hard to blow bubbles.It makes me laugh to see him make so many silly faces trying to get those bubbles to come out. In the end he was content to have Dad blow them for him.

{real}

The shaggy dog needs groomed, even more so now that she stays outside so often. Here she is chewing on a chopstick from last night's Chinese meal enjoyed on the deck. She had a feast last night as we dined al fresco, thank goodness we were outside so the mess was not on my kitchen floor.

Reality is that while we enjoyed a few glimpses of sun, this week was spent largely indoors as it rained almost every day.

For more pretty, happy, funny, real visit:

Down the Homestretch

2011-05-17T13:33:00.002-04:00

"It is our part to seek, His to grant what we ask; ours to make a beginning, His to bring it to completion; ours to offer what we can, His to finish what we cannot." — Saint Jerome

We are currently wrapping up our year of homeschooling. Subjects are slowly being finished, workbooks thrown away, final touches being put on projects, end of the year assessments are being taken. As mom and Chief Education Officer (CEO), I am evaluating what worked for us this year, what we should improve, and what direction our little school will take next year.

I am, by nature, a perfectionist in many ways. I want all the lessons finished 100%. I struggled this year with my expectation that all finished work be completely correct, and if not, completely corrected. I like every "t" crossed and "i" dotted. In my end of the year evaluations, it is easy for me to see all those t's that not crossed, all the undotted i's. It is tempting for me to fixate on all I had hoped to accomplish this year that either was done hastily, done half way, or completely unattempted. I am again reminded of my imperfections as a teacher, a counselor, and a mother.

At Mass this past Sunday, The Feast of the Good Shepherd, our parish priest spoke of vocations. He very eloquently reminded us (by pointing out his fellow priests) that God does not call the perfect. That we should not allow our imperfections, our personality flaws, or our inadequacies, to stop us from pursuing whatever God is calling us to do. While this is so very true of the calling to our vocations, and especially the priesthood, it is equally apropos to those of us called to homeschooling. It is very easy to think we are somehow too undisciplined, too prone to anger or impatience, too distracted, too uneducated, too overwhelmed, or just too "not up for the task." We forget that our calling is less about our abilities and more about being an instrument of God's grace. We forget how God uses the lowest and the most inadequate as shining examples of how his grace can work through us. We forget it is about saying "yes" to God's will, not about being able to do it all on our own.

This year has been a year of learning to say "yes" to God in the little moments, because it is all those little moments that add up to our big eternal "yes." I learned to step back from the big picture and ask myself in each little moment, "Am I doing God's will right now?" Asking is this what I need to be doing to serve God right now has allowed me to recognize when I should be saying "yes" in a different manner, when it was time to put aside my own desires. I learned to serve him in changing the diapers, cleaning the spilled syrup, as well as in teaching mathematics.

Asking each moment has also helped me learn to leave the rest to him. If in each moment I was doing all I could, then I couldn't be bothered by what I couldn't do. If I was called away from school to clean a bathroom because two little angels (aka 3 year-olds) had gotten into the toilet *again*, I had to do my best to clean it and then return to schooling. I couldn't beat myself up over being unable to do it all. My daily To-Do List is almost always left with three or four items that I just couldn't get finished. Instead of worrying or giving into the temptation to feel more overwhelmed, I have been working on (only sometimes successfully) trusting in God to bring to completion what He feels needs to be completed.

While I certainly was not able to finish all that I had planned for this school year, I trust that my willingness to be at the disposal of God will allow him to finish all that he feels needs to be accomplished as we wrap up this year's educational pursuits.

New Jammies

2011-05-14T20:50:00.001-04:00

Grandma bought Gabriel some new jammies today. Despite the fact neither Juju nor Joseph have ever seen Sesame Street, they both fought over who would wear the new Elmo and Cookie Monster jammies. So even though these monkeys are two years older than Gabriel and the jammies were sized 18-months, they both insisted they should get to wear them!!

Spreading the News

2011-05-13T15:04:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I had the pleasure of telling Joseph's speech therapist that we are in the process of adopting another little one from China. We have shared this news with friends and family who are for the most part pretty supportive. They think we are a little crazy, we have already gone from three children to six in a very short period of time. I think we are a little crazy too, but in a good way. It was difficult to bring this up to the speech therapist, though, because the reaction I get from most is that we are really truly crazy, and not in a good way.

I mentioned before that I am overwhelmed. Some moments are very difficult. You know those moments. A few months ago just minutes after I finished the monumental task of making every bed in the house (after washing every piece of bedding we owned), Joseph got a bloody nose while going down for a nap-- ten short minutes after I made his bed. I thought I was going to cry. Then Juju had an accident and pooped in her bed, pooped in the bed I had just finished making, hospital corners and everything. All that work and I was now going to spend the afternoon re-washing more bedding, not to mention bathing two toddlers who should be napping. It had taken a week to get the original bedding done and I did cry then.

That moment is by no means isolated either. I have several a day. Moments where I feel as though I could use ten more hands, I need to change a diaper, wipe a nose, refill a sippy cup, help someone diagram a sentence, and answer a question about the periodic table of elements. Moments where my patience is strained from bickering, and sometimes it breaks from the sheer volume, there are six of them--one of me. Moments where I just want to scream "Calgon, take me away!" Moments where dead birds land on my back porch and I think to myself this isn't what I signed up for.

One could mistake those moments of chaos for unhappiness. I admit, sometimes I let them get the better of me. Then I get a wake up call. A little one who wraps both arms tight around me and "kisses" my cheek, a toddler who learns to say "MMMMommy" after so much work to get the sounds correct, a girl who wants nothing but to hold my hand, another girl who learns to make coffee so she can surprise me in the morning. Yesterday, one of my girls told me I was definitely going to heaven because all mothers of six children must go to heaven. Sometimes just a smile from one of them changes my whole outlook on life.

Yes, with six little ones and another in the works, life is more hectic. I have less "me" time. I never seem to accomplish that daily To Do List. I often feel frazzled. Conventional wisdom would leave one to think I must be unhappy, but the truth is I am happier than I have ever been. With each little person, made in the image of God, we bring into this house we invite another piece of heaven. Each little one gives me the opportunity to grow closer to God by loving and providing for them. They provide an opportunity to grow holier, and therefore more peaceful and more joyful. Not in the worldly sense of peace and joy, rather in the heavenly sense.

We have soccer games every night this week, difficult appointments, a grueling school schedule, and my house is already in shambles from last week. There has also been a streak of all my best laid plans going awry. For two weeks now it seems my will has been thwarted at every turn, I'm not sure why I bother with a calendar. Still there is peace, there is joy that material things and "me time" could never bring. Each child brings a unique joy to our home and family, the extra work is a blessing and a small price to pay for that joy.

When dh and I began discussing another adoption, we both were struck with the thought that in as little as ten years from now, we might regret not having done all we could to bring home another little one, but we would never regret having adopted one more. One of dh's favorite memories of his grandfather is of him at many family gatherings looking out at all the children and grandchildren saying something like, "Look what Lil and I started!" Sure the work might seem overwhelming now, but God has always given us the graces we need and we will count on them again. In a few short years, this difficult season will have passed and we will have the lifelong blessing of another child.

Joseph's speech therapist politely offered her congratulations. I'm pretty sure she thought we were crazy though... I'll choose to think it's crazy in a good way and continue to count my blessings.

These thoughts were prompted by two fantastic posts:
It's Never a Good Time to Have Kids
Life Doesn't Have to be Easy to be Joyful

Both well worth a read.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-11T06:02:00.012-04:00

Peek-a-Boo Edition

Almost Six Years Ago...

2011-05-06T14:38:00.000-04:00

We moved into our new house and I said it was wonderful, but it needs a fence.

Six years later, we have our fence.

Gabe's expression perfectly captures how happy his Mom is to have a backyard in which he can play more safely.

Yes, this Mom is very happy to have a fence to keep her monkeys in the yard and not have to risk breaking her foot trying to rescue them from oncoming cars.

Beautiful, isn't it?

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-05-05T09:16:00.005-04:00

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

All of my pictures this week are from a park day last Friday because since that outing, nothing, I do mean nothing, has gone as planned. No community garden plantings, no First Holy Communion Parties, no brunch with Grandma, no dinner with friends, no planetarium field trips. Not for lack of trying, it simply has not been our week.

{pretty}

This beautiful picture was taken by Banana, age 10. I think she may have more talent for this photography thing than I do. I love the way she captured a true Bophie expression and the sunlight that had been so elusive in our neck of the woods.

{happy}

Having good friends to share a trip to the park makes me happy. Watching my children play and grow also makes me happy. This reminds me of both. It also makes me wonder what trouble these two will cause...

{funny}

Speaking of trouble... This is the picture you get when you let four preteen girls play with your camera. Somehow it captures the life of the modern homeschooling mom. Off-roading with strollers loaded down sporting all the modern accessories all to savor one of the very few sunny days of spring.

{real}

This is what 3-year old boys look like after you take them for a walk to the creek. OK, this is what they look like if you keep telling their older sisters not to let go of his hand, and if you spend every other moment asking, "Where is he?" and saying things like, "Don't go in the water!" or "Move 5 paces back with him." Otherwise it would be much, much worse. This being my first experience with a boy, the creek has an attraction for him that is much more intense than it did for my girls, it seems to call him to it with enticing shouts rather than whispers.

For more contentment visit:

Bear's New Glasses

2011-05-04T12:39:00.000-04:00

As part of the adoption process, we again had to take everyone in for a physical. A few weeks ago we staggered appointments and in one week managed to get all eight of us into the doctor's office. It was quite a feat. The way it worked out, our doctor's appointments were the same week as our dentist appointments. So it was a really, really busy week.

For some time Bear had been telling us she was having trouble seeing things far away. I thought she was just envious of my new glasses-- ok, not so much. I just didn't pay much attention to it. She seemed to be reading and completing her schoolwork without any difficulty. Let's just say it wasn't a stellar mom moment as she stood in the doctor's office and failed a simple eye exam. Then when at the optometrist, we found she needs a stronger prescription than both dh and I!

Dh took her to that appointment, and he picked out her new glasses. I was a little worried when he told me they were red, and really picking out glasses isn't really a Dad thing. Truth is they are purple-ish and he did a decent job. They make her look so grown up. In an attempt to have them fit her for two years, they skipped the kid glasses and went straight to preteen. It's hard to believe she is already eight and needs anything preteen!

A Little Boy and His Patron Saint

2011-05-01T17:20:00.004-04:00

While today is abuzz with Divine Mercy and the beatification of JPII, it is also the feast of St. Joseph the Worker. What a great day to be Catholic!

Joseph is already quite enamored with his patron saint. He regularly has chats with St. Joseph in our backyard. It was St. Joseph, protector of families, whom we invoked to watch over our Joseph before he joined our family.
He tried to do this at our church too, but the end result was, well, disastrous. Thankfully, this statue has held up so far to Joseph's affections. Each morning, dh prays the following beautiful prayer. I thought it appropriate as we head into Monday after a day of such wonderful feasting. We will be praying it as we diligently push forward to complete our school year.

O Glorious St. Joseph, model of all those who are devoted to labor, obtain for me the grace to work conscientiously, putting the call of duty above my natural inclinations, to work with gratitude and joy, in a spirit of penance for the remission of my sins, considering it an honor to employ and develop by means of labor the gifts received from God, to work with order, peace, moderation and patience, without ever shrinking from weariness and difficulties, to work above all with purity of intention and detachment from self, having always death before my eyes and the account that I must render of time lost, of talents wasted, of good omitted, of vain complacency in success, so fatal to the work of God.

All for Jesus, all through Mary, all after thine example, O Patriarch, St. Joseph. Such shall be my watch-word in life and in death.

-- St. Pius X

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-04-28T08:24:00.006-04:00

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

I am joining in again even though I posted pictures yesterday too.

{pretty}
I love the altar at our parish decked out for Easter. The music, the flowers, the little ones in their finest clothes, the incense, it all seems so joyful I just want to shout "He is Risen!"

{happy}
It makes me happy to bring a little of that joy home to share with my family.

{funny}
Leave it to Joseph to come up with all kinds of new uses for his Easter basket.

{real}
Because of the rain, Grandma's famous Easter Egg Hunt had to be brought indoors. 400+ eggs filled with candy hidden throughout our little home. Also, reality set in when I noticed in almost every Easter picture of sweet Gabe he is wearing just his onesie. He fell asleep and then made a mess of himself at dinner before I got a single picture of him in his tie. Oh well! It just means he has to wear it again, preferably on a sunny day so I can get a good shot :)

For more contentment visit:

Easter Photo Parade

2011-04-27T15:10:00.001-04:00

My kids before bloody noses and Easter candy spoiled their Sunday best. Thanks for the duds, Grandma.

Almost a great family shot, if only Juju would have turned around. Eight people, one fraction of a second. It just seems impossible to capture.

Joseph is loving his new cars and carrier. Never have I seen anyone with such a fascination for wheels. I worry about him at sixteen :)

Here she flashes that sweet smile so elusive earlier. She loved her yellow dress, and a highlight of my Easter was hearing her squeal with delight as her egg came out of the dye a vibrant shade of her favorite color. She liked that magic trick a lot. She did not, however, get the concept that if she banged the egg on the table it would break.

My sweet Sophia, ever the princess.

My Bear, flashing her prettiest smile.

When did these girls grow so big? Banana wore shoes that made her mom envious. They were so cute, and too grown up. She's still supposed to be my little girl...

If it was hard to capture our little family of eight, trying to get 13 cousins to stop for a picture after being ramped up on Easter candy and wound up from Grandma's Easter Egg Hunt was impossible. 42 pictures and this is as good as it gets.

Our bunny cake, absent last year because I was too busy, made his return this year. Aunt Missy sure enjoyed it!

I much prefer carrot cake.

Still My Favorite Easter Picture

2011-04-27T15:08:00.001-04:00

Seriously, nothing says Easter like a scary, baby-snatching bunny. How much do you think poor Gabe's therapy sessions will cost us?

This Isn't What I Signed Up For

2011-04-27T10:55:00.007-04:00

Do you ever have those moments? Those moments where you think to yourself this is not what I thought life was going to be like? I always knew I would be a stay at home mom. Yes, there was a brief time in college I aspired to be a great chemist, researcher, then a great humanitarian, then perhaps a botanist. Really, though, I knew those were only grand schemes in my mind, and that I had been called to raise a family. Still, in many moments of chaos, diapers, mud, and messiness, I've wondered about this calling.

I also can distinctly remember a time, early in my homeschooling years when I came huffing through our back door, slamming it rather heavily, all the while letting poor dh know there was a reason I NEVER considered elementary school teaching as a career. Still, I knew I was called to homeschool as well.

This morning I had another of those moments. It is important to remember this all happened while I was making my morning cup of coffee, and had not yet had a chance to drink said coffee. I had all the kids happily (after 10 minutes over bickering about who got the last of the sugary Easter cereal) eating breakfast. It was finally almost quiet. I poured the water into the coffee press, went to set the timer, then I heard a thud, a pretty loud thud. I wondered what had fallen, what mess there was to clean up. Then the girls tell me it came from the back door.

It turns out a poor little bird flew into our back sliding doors, then promptly fell on the back doormat. It heaved a few heavy breaths-- and died. DIED! Right there on the door mat. All six of my kids watching the poor thing...

After the shock wore off I realized the dog was going to have to go out. I also realized the dog, who had watched the bird, was already curious about the ball of feathers on the doorstep. It then hit me that I was going to have to dispose of the bird.

In my bathrobe, ugly shoes, unkempt hair, (when did I get so old?) I went outside. I found the snow shovel, walked around the house, past the school kids walking, waved to a neighbor praying she would not come to say hello, and made my way to the back door. By this time most of the kids had abandoned the cereal that had earlier seemed such a treasure, and now had their noses pressed to the back door.

As I attempted to get the poor creature onto my snow shovel (a task that should have been easier), I hear chanting from my girls indoors... "Be a man, Mom! Be a man!!" That, my friends, is certainly not my calling. Disposing of dead birds, or any dead creature, before coffee, or ever, is also not my calling.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-04-21T09:27:00.007-04:00

I had been planning this post all week, then this morning, when I saw Leila's post, I felt we must've had very similar weeks, although she has better pictures to show for it.

{pretty}

No Lenten picture post would be complete without a daffodil. In this house we refer to them by the old-fashioned name Lent lilies. Little bits of sunshine in our Lent.

This prettiness was too much for me too. This little girl has the sweetest smile.

{happy}

My rhododendron are in full bloom for Easter. I was worried they would blossom too early, and then when the Spring storms hit earlier this week, I worried all their blooms would be blown off the bush and scattered through the yard.

Having this picture makes me happy. It gets the action of my little scooter-- he refused to crawl. He is almost always walking now, so I am so happy to have captured this moment of his baby days.

{funny}

I had to get this shot of our one lone purple phlox in a sea of pink. Don't you feel like that sometimes? I have lately. I feel like that one, single, little flower that somehow is different. This picture reminds me of the beauty in being a little different.

How is it such little ones pick up so fast on their parent's mannerisms. Here little Gabe is clearly telling a story in much the same fashion his mother would. The hand adds such emphasis :)

{real}

This is a sink full of dirty lunch dishes. It seems washing dishes by hand was God's plan for our Holy Week (like Leila, I'm doing my best not to complain). Thankfully, the repairman came late yesterday, so we have a working dishwasher in time for company this weekend.

Isn't it amazing how a camera can take that mess, blur it, and make it almost pretty? If only we could learn to have eyes like that. To blur the troubles and focus on the half full glass.

For more pictures see:

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-04-14T09:26:00.005-04:00

Joining with Like Mother, Like Daughter on their new picture thoughts couldn't have come at a more appropriate time for me. My new camera loves this idea :)

{Pretty}

Spring has finally arrived (on some days). Sunday, while children happily played in the backyard, I snapped this picture of Easter flowers from years past lovingly planted by dh. They remind me Easter is fast approaching! I only wish I could capture the fragrance.

{Happy}

This little boy likes nothing more than to sit in that swing and be pushed over and over again. It makes me smile to see such a sweet boy content and laughing.

{Funny}

What do you think she sees?

{Real}

Despite how much he enjoyed the swing, Gabe has had a tough go of things since his round of shots late last week. He might be getting a few new teeth too. All of this has led to some serious bouts of fussiness the last few days.

Mom's New Toy

2011-04-12T10:29:00.003-04:00

Please forgive me if for a few weeks my blog turns into a picture book. After months of hemming and hawing, a new camera arrived in the mail for me courtesy of dh. For the next few weeks, the amateur (and by amateur I mean a complete novice pretending to know what she is doing as she wields her new fancy-shmancy shiny new camera with knobs and buttons she knows absolutely nothing about) photographer in me will be in full force, driving those around me crazy as I snap another shot. If I am going to drive my family nuts as I try every new feature on my camera, it seems only fitting you, my blog friends, should have to be subjected to the results...

I love Gabe's big hugs. Here he has a special one for Daddy who deserves such squeezes for buying Mom such a nice camera, for doing all the research to pick said camera, and for mopping the kitchen floor.

This picture just makes me smile. My frilly, girly, sweet Bophie in favorite pink twirly skirt (now ripped from playing outside) in her muddy boots. Somehow it encapsulates that little girl's personality.

Here two little monkeys are hanging out watching Mom snap more and more pictures.

Some of them had their fill of pictures, others hammed it up and couldn't get enough of them :)

Turning Three

2011-04-08T07:17:00.006-04:00

This has been a busy week for us. I think five dentist appointments and eight doctor visits in four days qualifies for a little more than busy. Throw in piano lessons, first soccer games of the season, a trip to an indoor waterpark and I think I could call this week's schedule downright hectic. It doesn't let up over the weekend either. Despite the busy-ness yesterday we celebrated Joseph's third birthday.

Joseph loves anything with wheels so when I found this kit on clearance at the grocery store after Christmas, I knew it would be a hit. It was as fun to decorate as last year's monkey cake. Little Joseph didn't know what to make of it though, I don't think he realized it was cake. In the end I had to just give him a slice of the traditional cake I had also made.

Joseph is a race car kid. He falls asleep running them on his pillow, he wakes up and gathers them and tries to carry more than his hands will hold. He lines them up, he crashes them, and recently he has learned how to send them driving across the room. The first time I pulled out the race car jammies he wouldn't take them off. I think he wore the shirt almost three days before I decided it absolutely had to go in the wash. The race car ramp seems to be a hit too. He was up before the crack of dawn this morning ready to shoot the cars down the ramp. I'm pretty certain he's figured out that at 4:30 A.M. he can pretty much have the toys to himself. I've figured out that no amount of coffee will make 4:30 A.M. any easier.

Happy Third B-day Joseph!

2011-04-06T15:19:00.000-04:00

Everything's been different,

All the day long.
Lovely things have happened,
Nothing has gone wrong.
Nobody has scolded me,
Everyone has smiled.
Isn't it delicious

To be a birthday child?
--Rose Fyleman

It's becoming rather standard for us to celebrate birthdays late. Today is no exception. Five dentist appointments, piano lessons, opening Spring soccer games, not to mention a full day of school, leave today too busy. Cake and presents tomorrow... still I think Joseph has had a fun-filled, if not hectic, birthday.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-04-06T13:33:00.000-04:00

Clean Teeth Edition

Gabe is so excited there were no cavities!

Our Decision to Adopt Again Part 2

2011-04-04T09:13:00.005-04:00

After beginning discussions, we decided to put all adoption talk on hold until after our Christmas break. I had enough on my plate and I wanted to enjoy our break. I also was really struggling with how to handle our current household chaos. We spent our holidays brainstorming ideas to help me manage it all, to help me get some more sleep, to help the kids get school back on track, etc. The strategies we put in place made a world of difference. Despite getting sick for almost the whole month of February, I felt like I had things more under control.

Then we had Joseph's last post adoption visit with our social worker. We knew we wanted to ask a few questions about the possibility of adopting again, and despite the utter humiliation of that evening, we did start the conversation. Our social worker told us the most important thing we could do would be to keep our homestudy current. She explained that as the expiration date came closer, we would be notified it would expire unless we began the update process. She didn't have our paperwork with her so she wasn't sure when that date would be.

As with so much of all our adoption journeys, God's timing and opening of doors has been amazing, the very next day in the mail was our letter informing us we needed to begin the update. At this point, however, I was concerned it was pointless to update. Our homestudy had originally been completed almost six years ago for Juju's adoption, and after six years there is no option to update you simply start over. Because of this, we set the letter aside. I distinctly remember dh and I having a conversation about not wanting to start all over and he said, "If this is God's plan somehow the homestudy will work itself out."

Again God's timing was perfect, the day after that conversation the homestudy agency called to ask if we planned to update. I told her my concerns about our six years being right around the corner. She put me on hold, grabbed our paperwork, and came back on the phone and told me our homestudy was not quite two years old. It seems when we switched agencies between Juju and Joseph's adoption, while they only charged us for an update, it was easier for them to simply write a whole new homestudy. We still had four years to use our current homestudy if we updated it. When she said those words, I had an incredible sense that this was God's way of letting us know he was opening the doors for this adoption.

I had really struggled in our conversations about another adoption. My heart wants to bring home more and more of these precious children, but my body is tired. I wanted to be sure we were really able to handle another little one right now. Were we making the right financial choices? Were we getting in over our heads? Could we be open to another adoption, but just wait 3-4 years?

I have learned that dh has a grace from God to lead our family and oftentimes he is able to cut through all the back and forth and navigate a course for us. He knew this adoption and the timing were right. How blessed I am to have such a wonderful, Godly, generous husband. He prayerfully determines this course and truly works hard at providing every tool necessary for getting us there. He knew the timing was right and he relied on God's providence to work out the details. God used him and that unsuspecting woman from the homestudy agency to remind me to be at peace about this process.

That phone call, of course, changed everything. We needed to get a jump start on the update paperwork as some of the paperwork could take 30-60 days to get back and everything needed to be completed prior to the two year date.

Our Decision to Adopt Again Part 1

2011-04-01T09:08:00.000-04:00

"Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes." ~ David Platt (h/t to an old friend for posting it on Facebook)

During the Christmas season, we got an email from our adoption agency regarding a change in Chin*'s adoption policy that might allow us to adopt another little one using our old paperwork. We had thought we would never be able to adopt there again because we already have six children, so this was a surprise to us. While that opportunity wasn't for our family, in our conversations we were told that some family size exceptions are made-- especially for those open to special needs children. We suddenly started asking ourselves questions we had pushed aside because of our understanding of the adoption rules.

It surprised me how open both dh and I felt to another adoption. For many months we have both felt we had hit maximum density here. We are both stretched so thin, and the sleep deprivation has had us practically delirious at times. Quite frankly, there had been little time to give another adoption serious thought. We have had our hands full dealing with life with so many little ones. I think we knew we'd consider adoption again, we just thought that it was in the distant future.

Then we both read a book called "Silent Tears" which detailed one woman's volunteer efforts in an orphanage in China. We also follow this blog of a group caring for special needs orphans in China. We were both struck by the thought that some of these children wouldn't make it through the winter because of the conditions in which they live. They wouldn't make it through the winter...

I admit I'm stressed. I wonder sometimes how I will accomplish everything I need to do in a day. I worry about laundry, and piano lessons, schoolwork, soccer practice, a clean house, dinner on the table, the list goes on and on. But, these children aren't warm. They have to wonder if there will be a next meal, a blanket, someone to comfort them. No matter what my concerns and worries are, they just simply pale in comparison. Somehow my stress just doesn't compare to a little one languishing in an orphanage with no family. No, we can't help all of them, but could we help one more?

So we began the conversation...

Life in the Danger Zone

2011-03-30T10:43:00.008-04:00

“Security is an illusion. Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing at all.” --Helen Keller

Around here we live life on the edge.
*Now we know how all those fingerprints and smudges got all over the window... Dh had almost gone so far as to accuse me of making them as I watched out the window for him to come home :)

We also take risks.
*A rambunctious two-year old pushing his one-year-old brother in a rickety toy cart through a mine field of misplaced toys and wood furniture, not to mention six other people-- what could possibly go wrong?

Most dangerous of all, though, might be dh with a new mop!
* A mop that steams and came in a box that reads, "Goodbye Dirt, Hello Cleaner Home!"

Yes, we love danger! (and clean floors)

Called

2011-03-25T00:23:00.001-04:00

It isn't because the timing will be convenient,
or because we have our house under control.
We haven't tamed the chaos,
and we still aren't sure how we'll manage college.

We also have some other concerns,
especially on maintaining a house that is calm,
and collected,
and content.

Still, we've wondered if our family is complete,
and we feel compelled
to yet again consider
a little one in a far-off country.

It is simply because we are called.
Called*...
And, yes, we must be a little crazy.

It is because, by the grace of God, we can
and because we are talking about a child.
A child who needs our care,
our compassion,
and to be cherished.

So last week we wrote the first check.
We're making the connections,
and signing a few contracts,
and planning our third trip to the Asian continent.

We can and we are called to help one more precious child in China.

*And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me. -Matthew 18:5

*Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to care for orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained by the world. -James 1:27

Chores

2011-03-24T15:17:00.003-04:00

We start 'em young around here :)

My afternoon plans now include bathing a little boy and cleaning my downstairs bathroom.

Juju's Name That Tune

2011-03-24T13:07:00.003-04:00

Installments 1 and 2 here.

** A word of warning, her big sister Bear gives away the title during the last 2 seconds of the video.

Bophie Turns Five

2011-03-16T08:50:00.008-04:00

It is hard to believe this sweet girl is already five. For some reason it seemed she would always be my little one. Quiet by nature, she can get lost in the hustle and bustle some days. She is no longer one of the "littles" and yet not quite one of the "bigs" either. Somehow this suits her though. She enjoys playing quietly on her own and would rather not be the center of attention.

She has recently begun the task of learning to read. The only thing holding her back is Mom getting the time to sit down with her. Her love of reading is already apparent, however. Her one request for a birthday gift was a "kid Kindle" to go along with our Christmas theme. We found one, and she has been reading for days.

My girliest- girl, Bophie loves all things pink, pretty, and frilly. She has worn her new princess dress from Grandma every day I would let her. On other days it is always pink, pink, and more pink. Again, this suits this quiet, sweet, little girl. She is my sensitive one who cries at the slightest correction, doesn't talk to anyone she doesn't know well, and generally is happy being unnoticed.

Happy birthday Sweet Sophia. Thank you for blessing our family with your singing, your dancing, your love of all things beautiful, and just being you.

(Thank you Aunt Amy for all the beautiful pictures!)

Pushing Buttons

2011-03-14T13:44:00.004-04:00

Last week we were talking about the silly way Juju pronounces Bophie's name. She calls her ooo - wee. Lately though she has taken to calling Bophie ooo-wee-yah. It's so cute, ooo-wee has become a new name for our little Bophie. (** ooo has the sound of oo in hoot)

While very cute, Juju is also quite easily bothered. Here she is letting us know she'll have no part of that beautiful salad on her plate.

As I was telling dh about the added syllable, Bear walked into the room. She said, "I like to call her ooo-wee too."

Bophie is our resident princess which will be highlighted in her belated birthday post which I am trying to finish:)

She paused then added, "Unless I'm mad at her, then I call her Sophia Magdalene!" Said in a manner that strangely mimics my own intonation.

Then she paused again and added, "But if I'm really mad at her, I call her oo-a-licious, mag-duh-la-nee-o, cause she really hates that."

I guess we need to revisit that whole talking nicely for Lent thing...

A Hard Post

2011-03-09T01:07:00.001-05:00

Lent is ~~around the corner~~* here and to be honest, I'm incredibly thankful for this holy season. I am awed by the wisdom of the Church in giving us the simple gift of the liturgical year and, specifically, this season of sacrifice.

For the past few weeks I've read blog posts, email messages from our homeschooling group, bulletin inserts, and talked to friends about ideas for celebrating Lent with our children. There have been many creative, beautiful ideas for projects to do with the kids during the forty days of Lent. I have been inundated with so many ideas I don't know where to start. I don't want to start too much and leave it undone, but I also want to do all I can to make sure my children learn that this season brings its own type of joy, joy that is not available in our mainstream culture that so often spurns any type of sacrifice.

Despite my love for Lent, I have been hesitant to commit to any projects for my children and family this Lent. I haven't even really enjoyed hearing about all these ideas. I couldn't put my finger on why I was having such trouble preparing for Lent. While these projects are beautiful, they require preparation and with Lent a week away, I need to get started. Then today as I was praying it occurred to me, I need Lent. I NEED LENT, probably more so than my kids. I couldn't decide what to do as a family because I wasn't preparing myself for the season of Lent. I can't lead my children in the pursuit of virtue until I am certain I am diligently pursuing it myself.

So here's the hard part, I am going to let you in on what I am going to do personally for Lent. If I put it out there, it means I have to really own up to it. Lately I have noticed my children speaking more and more harshly to their siblings. It's driving me crazy. There is little patience and their tongues are quick to offer some cutting comment to one another. As much as this bickering bothers me, I am more bothered by the fact that I instigated it. It is precisely my tone of voice and often my words they are using towards each other. I have even lately tried talking to the older ones about the example they are setting for the little ones. Each time I say that, a little voice in the back of my head reminds me I set the ultimate example for all the children and oftentimes it isn't a good one.

Proverbs 15:1-4 says:
A mild answer calms wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
The tongue of the wise pours out knowledge, but the mouth of fools spurts forth folly.
The eyes of the LORD are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.
A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse one crushes the spirit.

This sent a pang of humility deep in my heart. My children are often not answered mildly. In fact there are quite a few harsh responses. I allow the chaos and demands of life weigh on my heart and it reflects in my responses to my children.

St. Basil the Great said, "Turning away from all wickedness means keeping our tongue in check, restraining our anger, suppressing evil desires, and avoiding all gossiping and swearing. To abstain from these things-- herein lies the true value of fast!"

I am going to work at speaking more kindly, especially when overwhelmed or frustrated. I am going to set the example for my children. A priest advised me to come up with a concrete punishment for myself when I speak unkindly, gargle with salt water, do push-ups, deny myself some treat. I'm going to try it and this Lenten season seems the right time to start.

*I've obviously had this post rattling around for some time. It's been busy, I've been distracted, I'm really in need of the discipline of Lent.

1, 2, 3, 4

2011-03-01T13:05:00.003-05:00

This morning it occurred to me that right now, for just a few more weeks, I have:

a one year old,

a two year old,

a three year old,

and a four year old.

Both Bophie and Joseph have birthdays coming up so it won't last long, but it's pretty cool when you think about it.

The Month of February

2011-02-23T10:12:00.003-05:00

Bitten by the love bug?

Not us, not this month. Instead we've been hit by the flu bugs! First up was a nasty stomach bug, now it is the cough and fever bug. On top of that, we are cooped up from snow and sickness and it is starting to wear on all of us.

The girls are bickering. The little ones are restless. I am ready for March and Spring and yes even Lent. Last night I came across this little prayer and it reminded me that there are just a few more days of February to endure.

God of our life,
There are days when
The burdens we carry
Chafe our shoulders
And weigh us down;
When the road seems
Dreary and endless,
The skies
Gray and threatening;
When our lives have no music in them,
And our hearts are lonely,
And our souls
Have lost their courage.
Flood the path with light,
Run our eyes to where
The skies are full of promise;
Tune our hearts to brave music,
Give us the sense of comradeship
With heroes and saints of every age,
And so quicken our spirits
That we may be able to encourage
The souls of all who journey with us
On the road of life,
To your honor and glory.

Saint Augustine.

Dinnertime Shootout

2011-02-21T09:40:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite sayings to zip out at my children (and often dh) is, "Say what you mean and mean what you say." I heard an ending to that a few years that goes, "but don't say it mean." I'd add that to my zinger, but often I am not saying it in the kindest of tones :) Still, I have a thing about convoluted, not to the point, mess around with the truth, kinds of answers. I want to hear what you mean, and nothing else.

This has been a little lax in our house lately so at dinner one night last week I decided we would revisit the subject of speaking as truthfully as possible as soon as asked a question. I was letting my children know that there would be MORE punishment if I had to ask twenty questions to get to the bottom of a situation rather than just getting an admission, an explanation if necessary, and an apology the first go round. To drive home my point, I said to them with a little smile, "In this house we are going to be straight shooting son of a guns!"

Banana thought about that for a moment and then said with a grin, "I guess that makes me a little pistol."

And that she is...

Happy Third Birthday Juju

2011-02-21T09:03:00.003-05:00

On Saturday we celebrated this little one's third birthday. Let me just say that February birthdays and big families do not go well together. We have now celebrated Juliana's birthday three times, each time we have been battling some illness. This year it has been a fever/cold bug. Currently all six children are in various stages of high fevers, runny noses, headaches, and some coughing. It was a blessing I got it first so that I am feeling better so I can run the infirmary ward that is now my upstairs.

Nonetheless, a birthday must be celebrated. All Juju wanted was, of course, a yellow cake. Thankfully she didn't get a fever until after her celebrations and was able to enjoy at least one piece of her cake. Bophie commented on Juju's birthday that although Juju was now 3 she still looked like she was 2. While she is small, she is growing in so many ways. Her vocabulary is booming. She is learning colors, shapes, and counting at record speed. She is also my danger alarm. She likes to let me know when her brothers are either causing or headed for any harm. Right now she is laid out on the bottom stair yelling. She is preventing Gabe from trying to climb the stairs.

Several times this weekend I have thought of how many happy little moments Juju and I have shared. I have thought of the joy and sweetness she brings our family. What a blessing to have shared another birthday with her! Here's hoping for speedy recoveries and a healthier February next year!

Missing

2011-02-11T08:41:00.004-05:00

This seems to be a recurrent theme in our house this week...

It isn't just shoes either. We still haven't located math books. The math manipulatives everyone swears they didn't touch are still not where they belong. We had to just skip that math lesson as it was taking too much time and my frustration meter was off the charts. We did eventually find the missing grammar essay although it took more than twenty minutes and by the time we found it the baby was up from his nap. I gave up on the missing binkies and went and bought more. As far as shoes, I am about 85% sure Joseph threw his shoe out of the cart in the grocery store last week, so I'm probably going to have to break down and buy new ones for him...

A Day Late

2011-02-10T14:33:00.003-05:00

Or a week late... Depending on how you look at it.

I wanted to post a few pictures my very talented little sister took over the weekend when we celebrated Gabriel's birthday, a week late because of the lingering sickness in the house. Then yesterday got away from me. What was to be my Wordless Wednesday is now a Thursday post which means I get to add my commentary, right?

Little Gabe is such a cutie I am not sure I should add anything to these sweet pictures. He is definitely a photogenic little boy, but maybe I'm just biased.

Look at that smile, I don't think it is just me... He's a cutie pie! A cutie pie that is growing much too quickly.
His temperament is as sweet as his smile. Unless, of course, someone is taking away a toy he would like. He also has some fussy moments when he isn't being served food fast enough. I thought it was only teenage boys who would eat you out of house and home, but this little one is very fond of eating. He knows the crinkle of wrappers much too well.

He makes up for it with his cuddling. His sweet kisses melt my heart, until he uses those teeth to bite my cheek. Then I yelp, he laughs, and is lucky that sweet smile keeps him out of trouble.

Blessed

2011-02-07T15:08:00.005-05:00

I am so blessed to call this my parish.

Breakfast Conversation

2011-02-07T09:27:00.001-05:00

Bear: Banana, did you brush your teeth this morning?

Banana: Yes, why? Did you brush yours?

Bear: I brushed them twice last night so I didn't have to!

Me: Sorry, dear, it doesn't quite work that way.

Bear: Well, then can I at least not brush my hair?

Name That Tune Part 2

2011-02-04T10:06:00.002-05:00

As if her first song weren't cute enough, Juju again showcases her talent in another song. Installment 1 here.

While she sings beautifully, we may need to cover a little ground before we begin formally homeschooling her.

Mt. Never-Rest

2011-02-03T20:52:00.003-05:00

Mt. Never-Rest is the name Banana fittingly gave the pile of laundry that grows on my couch after it is removed from the dryer and awaits me folding it and having the girls take it upstairs. I used to call it Mt. Washmore, but her title seems more apropos.

In a house of six children, laundry piles up fast. Throw in the stomach flu we passed around last week and the laundry piled up exponentially. All week my poor machines have huffed and puffed. Thankfully we replaced them recently, so the new guys were up for the challenge.

This afternoon, I worked and worked and finally all the laundry was washed, dried, folded, and even put away. I was basking in a chore completed. Now, less than three hours later, all the kids are in their jammies and in bed, but their laundry bins are no longer empty.

Mt. Never-Rest indeed...

Wordless Wednesday

2011-02-02T03:18:00.000-05:00

Gabe Attempts To Give His Mom a Heart Attack

Ailments of the Throat

2011-02-01T07:35:00.005-05:00

Early in my conversion I fell in love with the saints. I was inspired and fascinated with the examples of virtue. I grew in my faith by leaps and bounds as I learned more and more about the Church Triumphant. When my kids were born, I was determined these holy people would be their heroes. We would read about them, learn about them, use them as constant intercessors. Naturally, some saints became family patrons. St. Joseph, St. Therese, St. Frances of Rome, and many more. All of our children are named for saints we hope they will emulate.

This Thursday is the feast of St. Blaise. As a long time sinus sufferer, sore throats have been a common occurrence for me especially in this Midwest climate with weather that goes up and down. For many years, we received his throat blessing with beautiful blessed candles (I love the candles intertwined). For those unfamiliar with St. Blaise, he is the patron of throat ailments, he received this distinction because he cured a boy choking on a fish bone. On his feast the following blessing is given by priests:

May God at the intercession of St. Blasius preserve you from throat troubles and every other evil.

While I was familiar with St. Blaise and received the blessing, I didn't make much of it. I didn't really find myself asking the intercession of St. Blaise on the occasion I had a sore throat.

Then a few years ago it occurred to me that I had a bigger throat issue than the occasional post nasal drip. That the physical suffering was small in comparison to the spiritual suffering I was enduring, and inflicting on others, by the things I said. That in reality I was much more ailed by a sharp tongue than a sharp fish bone.

Now on this beautiful feast I not only ask to be preserved from physical ailments of the throat, but also to be preserved from the uncharitable, unkind, sharp words that well up in my throat. I recommit myself, with the help of St. Blaise's intercession, to work harder at making sure my throat and words are used to help others and myself grow in faith. To be certain, I will fail before the day is out, but I now see this feast as a necessary tool in my battle to tame my tongue.

O glorious St. Blaise, who by your martyrdom left to the Church a precious witness to the Faith, obtain for us the grace to preserve within ourselves this divine gift, and to defend — without concern for human respect — both by word and example, the truth of that same Faith, which is so wickedly attacked and slandered in these our times. You miraculously restored a little child who was at the point of death because of an affliction of the throat.

Grant us your mighty protection in similar misfortunes. And, above all, obtain for us the grace of Christian mortification, together with faithful observance of the precepts of the Church, which keep us from offending almighty God. Amen.

**Updated to add: I must really need this lesson this year for just after I posted this, I clicked my way to this post.

Doesn't this sound a lot like me: "we have learned to tame just about every wild animal, but the tongue, such a small part of us physically is barely able to be tamed. One may conquer many sins by God’s grace, but speech is usually the last. It almost seems that a different and lower part of our brain has a life of its own when it comes to speech. We can be halfway through saying something before we even realize how stupid and sinful we are being. Every now and then we even forget who we’re talking to or that what we say might get repeated." Do read the full post by Msgr. Pope

Name That Tune

2011-01-31T11:36:00.003-05:00

I'm having too much fun with my video editor. Only wish I had more time to play :)

Juju began singing this on the way to Mass yesterday, it made me smile. Hope it brightens your Monday too.

Happy First Birthday Gabriel

2011-01-29T07:55:00.007-05:00

We still have a few flu-bug leftovers, so birthday celebrations are on-hold. Still, it is unbelievable to me that a whole year has gone by since I first held this little one in my arms. I knew when he was born this year would fly past so quickly. I truly tried to savor every moment with this sweet baby. Still, here he is growing too quickly for his old mom.

My sweetie, I say he's a lover not a fighter. He holds onto me tighter, he wants more attention, and still he's almost always pleasant. He is, however, learning to make his will known. As number six he has to have some survival skills. He yells when Joseph tries to snatch his favorite snacks, he clamors at my feet if I stand long enough for him to catch me. Dh says that Gabe has a certain look of satisfaction whenever I pick him up and carry him around the house. He throws his arms in the air in an effort to be tickled. He makes me smile.

Song credits again go to Tia Ciferno. I can't say enough about her Heaven Sent CD.

Some Day We'll All Laugh Over This

2011-01-28T08:30:00.005-05:00

Right?

This week I faced one of my greatest fears, and now we are crawling out from under the rabble. On Monday, right before dinner it began with little Bophie, followed with poor Juju, then in the middle of the night it struck sweet GabyBaby. By Wednesday it had knocked me for a loop, and then dragged down poor Bear who spent the night on a rug in my bathroom. Yes, the dreaded stomach bug. It had been going around and I knew there was little chance of escape.

I thought we had done a pretty good job of maintaining some order during this chaos. As soon as it started on Monday, I began washing any dirty laundry I could find knowing it would mount exponentially as more children got sick, and it did. So far it has skipped Banana who has been an amazing help in all this ordeal. She kept little ones entertained, she cleaned, she liked pretending to be the babysitter. All this helped to keep things fairly together.

Still the laundry has been piled on the couch all week in various stages of being folded and put away upstairs. The house is for the most part tidy, but in no way clean. Then there is my appearance. I am sure no one feels glamorous when stricken with the flu, but having the flu and trying to tend to other little ones with the flu left me particularly out of sorts.

So imagine my ~~HORROR~~ surprise when last night the doorbell rang. Thinking it was probably just some sort of door-to-door salesman, I did my best to hide out of sight. Turns out, I wasn't that lucky. In fact I am not sure I could think of a worse scenario. It was our social worker. She was there for Joseph's one year post adoption report. I had scheduled it weeks ago, but for some reason thought it was Wednesday night and that dh must have canceled it knowing I was down for the count. Actually, dh had forgotten all about it.

So there she was. There wasn't even a place for her to sit. A sick child laying on one couch, Mt. Neverest of laundry on the other. Various piles of folded laundry scattered throughout the rest of the room. I was in jammies (not even nice ones), with bedhead, no makeup, changing another of the endless diapers that follow a stomach bug, with no place to hide, no rock to crawl under. To add to that it was bedtime for four children in various stages of recovery in no mood to have Mom and Dad have a conversation with someone else. Alas, she was there, and the report had to be done.

We answered questions, the kids did surprisingly well. She sat on the floor doing her best not to touch a single thing in our germ-infested house. When at last that act of humility came to an end, we closed the door, put the kids to bed, and went to bed ourselves hoping that sleep would help.

Some day I'll laugh about this, right?

One Year Ago

2011-01-24T11:12:00.000-05:00

This sweet boy stepped out of the airport doors and made his way into my heart.

A year ago our house was filled with pink and frills,

There were doll houses and dolls,
Jewelry and hair clips requiring trips to the malls.

Now there are trucks, trains, and cars that go zoom,

And more trips to the Emergency Room.

This little boy has shown us the meaning of snips & snails & puppy dogs tails. He has introduced this house of girls to new levels of ick. He eats dog food, rocks, and glass! This year I have learned that boys are indeed different than girls. My organization skills have necessarily reached new levels. I have discovered I can survive on much less sleep, consumed more coffee, and embraced dark-circle under eye concealer.
Yet, the joy he has brought our family this year is immeasurable. He embraces life much the way he gives his hugs, two arms wrapped around your neck squeezing with all the strength he can muster. His joy at a new truck, a passing truck, a piece of cake, or a glass of milk, even at a green pepper sliced for him, is each day a reminder of the many blessings we have been given. His infectious smile lights a room, his antics make me laugh (although not always initially).
He is no longer that scared little boy I met a year ago. He has many new accomplishments. He helps get himself dressed, expressing a clear preference for anything that has wheels or animals that roar. After quite a bit of work, he knows all his major body parts. At first he paid no attention to singing or books. Now, he loves to bring any willing person a book to read to him. He also asks to sing "The itsy-bitsy spider" with all its accompanying motions. And while he is definitely Daddy's boy, I am the occasional recipient of his big hugs, his slobbery kisses, and he even says Mommy.
Thank God we have had this wonderful, crazy, never been so tired, year with this amazing little boy.

Thought For the Day

2011-01-24T09:21:00.002-05:00

"Simple morality dictates that unless and until someone can prove the unborn human is not alive, we must give it the benefit of the doubt and assume it is (alive). And, thus, it should be entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." - Ronald Reagan 1982

Today I am praying for my friends attending March for Life in Washington D.C. With over 200,000 people expected, I still doubt we will see any local news coverage. Still, our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Time Out

2011-01-20T13:01:00.010-05:00

Look at this sweet boy.

Those who know my house, may have guessed he might be sweet but he's not so innocent. They probably recognize that he has not found a cozy spot to nap, but rather was relegated to the "Time-Out" stairs. Some blog followers may recognize the stairs too. They are used quite frequently these days.

Today they were used when that sweet boy waited until I was occupied putting the baby down for a nap. Then that darling boy snuck into my pantry and found the pancake syrup and a paper plate. He then filled the paper plate with syrup, only it wouldn't hold all the syrup. So he let it spill out all over the coffee table, and then he watched as it ran off the coffee table onto the floor (dh, if you are reading this, take a deep breath, then be thankful it was in the piano room and only got onto the wood floor not the carpet, and I managed to clean the whole mess. Also, dh, we could use another bottle of syrup for the wonderful leftover pancakes the kids are looking forward to for breakfast tomorrow.). The syrup looked so good as it made delicate designs on my coffee table that my adorable little son decided to stick both his hands in the plate and try to lap it up. This left him, all his clothes, and the floor, further covered in the sticky mess.

It's a good thing that boy is so darn cute when he sleeps. Otherwise, I might not have been so understanding when less than ten minutes after the syrup incident was cleaned, I found myself cleaning up the brown sugar from his attempts to reorganize my lazy susan. No wonder he fell asleep in time out today, he has spent his fair share of time there.

Since I needed a little bright spot in the day, Gabe decided to flash his best "ham-it-up-the-camera-is-on-me" smile. The cuteness is almost unbearable.
Little Gabe, though, has me wishing for a time out. He is all-Mommy all the time right now. Whenever anyone threatens to take him from my arms he clings to me with two fist fulls of hair, especially the little hairs on the back of the neck. The few times I get him down, he clamors trying to climb up my leg. My only respite comes when he is somewhat placated by food. Then sometimes he just collapses.

They sure are cute when they sleep :)

A Blog Bleg about Math

2011-01-19T08:11:00.006-05:00

Bleh, right?

My general question is this, Is it important that your child/student correct all his errors in schoolwork? I know in school you are given a grade and the assignment is finished, but is it an advantage to homeschoolers that they have the opportunity to correct their mistakes? Has this process helped your children make fewer future mistakes? I offer the following as an elaboration on one way this impacts our school day.

Banana has really amazed me in her ability to grasp Math concepts, something clicked with her last year and her Math skills have blossomed. She almost always completes her preliminary work and her Lesson Practice (5-7 questions making sure she grasped the current lesson) with no mistakes. Occasionally I might have to re-explain a topic in a different way, but she always seems to get it.

That said, almost everyday she misses several Mixed Practice questions. Mixed Practice is around 30 questions reviewing all of the concepts she has learned. She misses these not because she is having any real problems. She makes simple calculation errors, or she copies the problem incorrectly, on occasion she even misreads her own handwriting (mistakes a 0 for a 6 kind of thing). In earlier grades Saxon had a front worksheet and a backside that mirrors it so we had a deal, if you get it right on the front you don't have to do it on the back. This system worked wonders for her. Now, though, there is no mirrored problem sheet and I think she needs to complete each problem because they cover different concepts.

So, do you make your children/students correct all of their mistakes? Is it important to take the time to make the corrections and recheck them? Math takes a long time for Banana as it is, and it would be an understatement to say that I have a full plate. As it stands now, I do (mostly because of my perfectionist tendencies), for the most part, require her to take the time to fix each mistake which means she has to redo the whole problem even if it was a simple mistake. I then check each correction which means extra paperwork I have to keep straight.

Am I making too much trouble for myself, is it better to point out the mistake and then move on? I will always require her to fix problems that I think may indicate she is struggling with a concept, but should I require her to fix all the silly errors? If I don't have her correct each problem on her own, how do I encourage her to be neat and precise in her work?

The Year of the Kindle

2011-01-18T09:13:00.003-05:00

I know Christmas is long gone, but I was on a much needed computer break. So I am writing a post I thought I would write then, better late than never, right?

Dh and I really agonized over what to get for Christmas for our Banana this year. She's getting too old for most toys, and we aren't big on items most tween (I hate that term) girls would want. She couldn't even think of something she would like. Banana is our biggest book worm, and that's really saying something in a house full of bookworms. She has asked for new books every Christmas since she could read, so we were discussing different sets we could get her when the discussion turned to the Kindle. While it was out of our Christmas gift price range, we both knew she would love it. She loves nothing more than a new book to read and this would provide her with countless new reading. We justified the higher price by recognizing the educational potential. This year being what is has been, we have not made a single trip to the library, the Kindle lets us download new books from the comfort of our kitchen. So the added bonus of me having one less guilt trip about things I haven't been able to do lately made it worth the extra expense.
She l.o.v.e.s this thing. For almost a solid month she has had something new to read everyday. She has blown through reading material, but always there is something waiting. She hasn't had to reread the same novels over and over (you should see our Little House and Anne of Green Gables series, they are literally falling apart). There are so many classics available as well as older book series. She is currently finishing up the Bobbsey Twin series, looking forward the the Five Little Peppers series. Along the way reading novels like The Wizard of Oz, The Little Princess, and some short stories by Lucy Maud Montgomery. This is in one month and for free, except the cost of the device.
She isn't the only one, either. When dh started the research on the Kindle, he decided he'd like one too. So I bought him one for Christmas. He downloaded the Divine Office and the daily Mass readings and is taking the Kindle to Mass a little early to pray the Morning Office. He also is reading novels by an out of print Catholic novelist. At one point he had printed one of them off (100+ pages on our printer), now he has downloaded several, all for free. This is not to mention the few Zombie books he has thrown in as well.

Turns out Banana wasn't our only child enthralled with the Kindle, Bear was constantly borrowing her dad's Kindle. When it was in use, she would convince her gracious older sister to let her read over her shoulder as they turned on the "read to me" option. Listening and following along with stories together. Dh lost the use of his Kindle so much that he finally opted to use his Christmas gift cards to buy another for me (really so Bear doesn't borrow his). When it arrived he promptly removed all the girls' literature from his device and put it on mine. I didn't really think I would have time for it, but I have enjoyed the word games and picked out a few short stories. I like that it isn't back-lit. I am able to grab it when up in the middle of the night and it seems to help me get back to sleep.
When it came time for us to purchase a gift for Grandma we again settled on a Kindle for her. She, too, seems to be enjoying it. I must get my love of word games from her. Juju, too, seems to be taking after her.

This and That

2011-01-13T09:49:00.006-05:00

Yesterday, as dh was mopping the floor, the baby was crying, and the two year olds were creating quite a rabble, Bophie was playing with her new doll. This doll talks to her, it cries, tells her she wants to be fed, coos for a kiss, and even lets you know she needs a potty-- all in four different languages. In the chaos, Bophie turns to me and says, "I really wish this doll would just speak up!" Bophie has some extra fluid in her ears, which didn't help the cause. She will be having tubes put in her ears in a few weeks, I am hoping this will help the doll "speak up."
Speaking of dolls, Juju also got a new doll for Christmas. She and Bophie found a stash of old diapers and asked if they could put them on their dolls. I relented just to see the smiles it brought them. There is something about a little girl and her doll. The diaper was a little to big for Juju's doll and after 3 or 4 minutes it began to fall off. Juju picked up the doll and said, "O pap." Right then I was thankful that this little girl often needs a Mommy translator, because at least when out in public, most people would not know that my sweet, two-year-old, adorable little girl just said "Oh crap!" in a tone that strangely mimics that of her mother.
The older girls are on the hunt for a missing library book. A library book that happens to be on dh's library card. Last night, we knew we had allowed bed time to stretch too late when they became a little too upset about the missing book. An emotional Banana asked if I had ever lost a library book. Me, lose a library book? The most egregious story in this category is the library book I lost my senior year of college. The one I swore I returned and refused to pay the fine. The one that held up the reception of my degree. I fought up and down, certain that book was in a pile of returned books. Years later, during a move, I was reminded of my profound need for humility when I found that book. I consider sharing this story as an act of humility made in reparation for the pridefulness displayed then.

Finally, all these tidbits display little ways my dh has shown how much he loves me. He was done with dolls for Christmas. It was the only thing he did not want to buy this year and yet three of my girls received dolls. He was mopping the floor. He only teases me a little about the kids picking up my poor mannerisms and sayings (of course thankful they weren't picking up his). He also was incredibly patient with me as he was thrust in the middle of my library book debacle. More than all these things, though, his love for me was abundantly clear when I came down this morning to find a pot of coffee, piping hot, waiting for me in the carafe. He doesn't even drink coffee and yet, for the third time this week, it was ready and waiting for me when I came downstairs. It honestly doesn't get any better than that!

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas

2011-01-05T13:53:00.003-05:00

Joseph's first Christmas season with us brought giggles and smiles as he "mooned" St. Nicholas at our parish celebration. It brought warm, melt your heart feelings as I watched the young boy dressed in his finest, look with wonder at a church beautifully decorated for Christmas Eve Mass. To see him wonder at the singing of carols, the twirling of incense, the joy of those around him. There were feelings of gratitude and blessing to later watch him get the concept of presents. Opening each one to find the treasures. He has walked around this house for days with all of his trucks, trains, and cars. I was thankful we were given the opportunity to share in these festivities with him. What a different Christmas he must have had last year.

Today, though, he capped his first Christmas season by instilling fear, worry, and disbelief in a mom who had perhaps grown too accustomed to life with girls. I walked down the stairs to hear him crunching on something. Crunch, crunch, crunch. I look around to find little drops of blood and spit on the carpeted stairs, he munches away. I search to find the source of the snack he really seems to be enjoying.

Imagine my horror when I realize he is eating the bulbs off a strand of garland lights that decorates our banister. He was eating the glass lights!!! Chewing them into little ground shards!!! Five little lights he bit off, chewed up, and hopefully spit out. Quickly I scrambled to clean out any remaining pieces and he bit my finger, hard. There were tears of pain mixed with fear at what ramifications would come from eating glass. I searched the Internet and read the damage will mostly be to his mouth and throat, there was little evidence of any of that. I quickly fed him lots of bread (an Internet search yielded that suggestion), I called dh who did his own searching and calling.

The boy is currently happily napping, the garland has been removed, the stairs cleaned, and I am attempting to recover from the shock. Seriously, eating light bulbs off the strand. I just don't know where he comes up with these things.

** Update: After his nap, Joseph came to me with a piece of glass stuck in his foot. Those stairs I had just cleaned now had drops of blood to be cleaned once more. Then wouldn't you know it, I stepped on a piece myself and had to clean up another round. My poor white carpeted stairs will never survive these children.

An Apology

2011-01-04T08:27:00.007-05:00

To my dearest third daughter, a doomed middle child, a girl forever caught between the older girls and little kids, my darling Bophie. I do love you very much, you are a blessing to me and to this family. Please forgive a mom who was very busy with Christmas preparations, gifts to buy, cookies to bake, trees to trim. With six kids this year I had to use a spreadsheet to keep the gifts straight. I was up many, many nights very late Internet shopping and then wrapping. It was hard enough to get Christmas cards out the door to a few friends. The fact that your name was somehow inadvertently left off the card while all your siblings names were there is no indication of your place in this family. It is an indication of how scatterbrained and overwhelmed your poor mother was this Christmas.
I hope this has been made up for by the fact that the garage pantry is still well stocked with Christmas cookies, that our house is still standing after all the decorating, that you got such wonderful presents that were wrapped so beautifully on Christmas morning. That you know I love you because I scooped you up at least three times each day to tell you how much I love you. That you are assured I love you because I show you with clean laundry, good food, tucking you into bed, reading you books, and endlessly providing you with art supplies.
To my credit, preparing Christmas cards on the Internet is not always easy. There were four different cards I was choosing between. I typed in our names over and over again. Then somehow the card I was working on disappeared and I had to begin all over again. It was late, I was tired, I had to get to other Christmas preparations. Please keep this in mind when you are in therapy, lamenting your middle child status. Remember you got that doll you wanted Christmas morning. You know the one that says, "I have to go potty," in four different languages. I fought hard to get you that doll. Your father said we had too many dolls. I insisted, knowing how much you wanted it, even if it was ridiculously expensive.

So, once more, I love you dearest Bophie. I love you very, very much.

Back in the Saddle Again

2011-01-03T09:18:00.003-05:00

Ridin' the range once more (by range I mean the cooktop)
Totin' my old .44 (by .44 I mean 44 ounces of coffee)
Where you sleep out every night (sleep out? more like get no sleep all night)
And the only law is right (six kids who each think they're right, and one mom who has to decide who is)
Back in the saddle again

While today is the eighth day of Christmas, it is the first day back to work for dh and although we are not beginning school today, it is the first day back to working for me. For one glorious beautiful week I had dh at home. We didn't go anywhere, we didn't do any major projects, we just enjoyed the holiday. That was busy enough. I sort of caught up on sleep. I had a break from cooking and diaper duties. We read, we played games, we baked, we ate, we enjoyed having our little ones playing around us. It was wonderful.

I obviously took a needed break from blogging. The truth is I started a few posts, but I was too busy, too sleep deprived, and too distracted to put anything worthwhile out there. This Christmas I took a much needed semi-break from the computer. I've thought of going back to post about our wonderful holidays, especially some beautiful pictures, but am not sure I will have the time. For now, it will just have to be back to blogging about everyday life.

Two Years Ago

2010-12-13T06:57:00.005-05:00

Dh and I were in China, on the thirtieth floor of a hotel, waiting to meet our newest daughter for whom we had waited more than three years.

Today I was thinking about how fast these two years have gone. How much our lives have changed. It seems forever ago that we were so anxiously waiting to see this beautiful girl's face. How long that wait seemed, how I would check for news, how I longed to hold her.

Now she is with us, and all those anxieties have melted. Each day I am blessed with her smiles, her budding personality, her amazing sweetness. She was definitely "Worth the Wait."

The music is a song by Tia Ciferno on her Heaven Sent album. Her sister is a member of our homeschooling group, she gave me this CD when Gabe was born. It is beautiful. Every song was touching.

A Snapshot of My Morning

2010-12-10T10:15:00.003-05:00

Get everyone up, dressed, and breakfasted.
Start older girls finishing up school so we can start our Christmas break.
Sort through box of new sweaters and dresses from Grandma for our Christmas pictures.
Double check my Christmas sweater will arrive today for Christmas pictures.
Locate appropriate pants, tights, hair clips, socks, skirts, undershirts, etc to go with sweaters for six kids so I am ready for Christmas pictures.
Plan bath time, hair cuts, and laundry so we are ready for Christmas pictures.
Walk around the house looking for any appropriate spot to hold a family of eight for Christmas pictures.
Vacuum stairs in preparation for Christmas pictures.

and then:

Clean up blood, and ice down goose egg on a little boy's forehead, because tomorrow we take Christmas pictures.

Bear Turns Eight

2010-12-08T14:15:00.003-05:00

It is hard to imagine eight whole years have passed since the day this little one brightened my life with her birth.

Each day little Bear seems to be growing into a more beautiful girl. She is still my fiery, active, always moving little girl, but it seems hardly possible she is already eight years old. Already a good student, a big help around the house, and a favorite playmate of my little ones. I am so blessed to have this sweet girl for a daughter.
Today, as I have on all of her birthdays, I entrust her to the care of our heavenly mother. She has such a special day for her birthday! I pray for her continued growth in virtue and am thankful for another year with her.
Bear's birthday also ushers in our birthday marathon. We have five months of birthdays, so this scene will be played out often in the next few months.

Happy Feast of St. Nicholas

2010-12-06T09:41:00.003-05:00

My children had a wonderful party at our parish over the weekend. They made beautiful cards and ornaments, and the party was capped with a visit by the jolly fellow himself. The girls enjoyed the crafts, Mom and Dad enjoyed visiting with friends, Joseph enjoyed the snacks. Since dh forgot the camera, good friends stepped in to take some pictures of my crew. We are blessed with many, many wonderful friends willing to lend a helping hand and save poor dh from the wrath of an over tired Mom who spent a frazzled morning getting everyone picture ready.There were so many flashing cameras it was as if we were surrounded by paparazzi. Joseph particularly enjoyed all the attention.

In the excitement, he decided to go for the laughs of his captive audience.

Mom and Dad had to step in and put an end to the hullaballoo.

I have a feeling Joseph is going to add some real excitement to our holiday season.

O Captain, My Captain

2010-12-04T09:07:00.003-05:00

This, I am blessed to say, is my wonderful dh. Today the "old" man is entering his late 30's. For his birthday I mopped the floor, allowed him to get nap, and the girls bought him new dishcloths (mostly because his flat panel tvs came two weeks ago). For his birthday dinner he wants take-out pizza and a cold beer, no cake-just rice pudding. All that, and the picture, say a lot about this man don't they?

Happy Birthday Dh! I am so glad to share another year with you!

Overheard at the Dinner Table

2010-12-03T22:01:00.004-05:00

Bear asks, "Why is there a pink candle on our Advent wreath? What is it for?

Banana responds in a very knowing tone of voice, "It's for Al dente Sunday."

This on a night we were having lasagna for dinner...

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T05:15:00.000-05:00

A Thanksgiving Prayer

Oh, God, when I have food,
help me to remember the hungry,

When I have work,
help me to remember the jobless;

When I have a warm home,
help me to remember the homeless;

When I am without pain,
help me to remember those who suffer;

And remembering, help me
to destroy my complacency
and bestir my compassion.

Make me concerned enough
to help, by word and deed,
those who cry out
for what we take for granted.

Samuel F. Pugh