Friday, August 17, 2012

15 Years...

Last night as we finally went upstairs to sleep, dh and I made our nightly rounds checking on all the kids, then   went in our room to put the newest little one to sleep and finally hope to get some elusive sleep that is sometimes hard to come by with five children four and under. In those final moments before sleep I couldn't help but ask dh how we got here? How can it be that we have eight beautiful children? How is it possible we have been married fifteen years? In someways it seems we just met, and yet in other ways I have always known him. Tired from c-section recovery and the busy-ness that just is in our house, I barely got the questions out before my lead filled eyes could stay open any longer.

A few weeks ago I read this blog post. I immediately sent it to dh with the message, "I wish I could so eloquently speak these words to you."  The first paragraph put into beautiful words the way I feel about him. 
"I am madly in love with my wife.  I am not my own man, and I haven’t been since the first time I laid eyes on her.  With each passing hour, I surrender more of myself to her, sometimes imperceptibly, and at other times with a great decisiveness.  I felt it most strongly when we professed our vows before God and the Church, and again with the birth of each of our children.  Yet I feel it too every morning that I wake up, utterly aware that my life would have no meaning apart from her."
Of course how I feel about my husband/him :)

The blog post above made me think about my vocation to marriage. At one point Jake, the author, points out that marriage is meant to mirror the love between Christ and the Church, but not just marriage in general our marriage specifically. The love shared between Dh and I is an earthly reflection of the love between Christ and the Church. It was eye opening to think of my marriage in that light. 

As we came home from dinner we talked of how blessed we are to have our vocation, how blessed to have the graces given to us to live out this vocation. We were pondering the question of is there just one person out there for whom we were designed or is it that in a marriage those graces are made available to us? Both of us too tired to have such discussions (we do have a two week old newborn), decided it didn't matter. It was enough that we were together and given those graces. 

Fifteen years ago I never would have imagined the journey we have taken. Yet, here we are and I know that I wouldn't have it any other way. Our marriage has drawn me out of myself and made me more the person God intended. I am thankful for each day I am given the opportunity to grow closer to Our Lord through my wonderful dh. 

I love you David.

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