After beginning discussions, we decided to put all adoption talk on hold until after our Christmas break. I had enough on my plate and I wanted to enjoy our break. I also was really struggling with how to handle our current household chaos. We spent our holidays brainstorming ideas to help me manage it all, to help me get some more sleep, to help the kids get school back on track, etc. The strategies we put in place made a world of difference. Despite getting sick for almost the whole month of February, I felt like I had things more under control.
Then we had Joseph's last post adoption visit with our social worker. We knew we wanted to ask a few questions about the possibility of adopting again, and despite the utter humiliation of that evening, we did start the conversation. Our social worker told us the most important thing we could do would be to keep our homestudy current. She explained that as the expiration date came closer, we would be notified it would expire unless we began the update process. She didn't have our paperwork with her so she wasn't sure when that date would be.
As with so much of all our adoption journeys, God's timing and opening of doors has been amazing, the very next day in the mail was our letter informing us we needed to begin the update. At this point, however, I was concerned it was pointless to update. Our homestudy had originally been completed almost six years ago for Juju's adoption, and after six years there is no option to update you simply start over. Because of this, we set the letter aside. I distinctly remember dh and I having a conversation about not wanting to start all over and he said, "If this is God's plan somehow the homestudy will work itself out."
Again God's timing was perfect, the day after that conversation the homestudy agency called to ask if we planned to update. I told her my concerns about our six years being right around the corner. She put me on hold, grabbed our paperwork, and came back on the phone and told me our homestudy was not quite two years old. It seems when we switched agencies between Juju and Joseph's adoption, while they only charged us for an update, it was easier for them to simply write a whole new homestudy. We still had four years to use our current homestudy if we updated it. When she said those words, I had an incredible sense that this was God's way of letting us know he was opening the doors for this adoption.
I had really struggled in our conversations about another adoption. My heart wants to bring home more and more of these precious children, but my body is tired. I wanted to be sure we were really able to handle another little one right now. Were we making the right financial choices? Were we getting in over our heads? Could we be open to another adoption, but just wait 3-4 years?
I have learned that dh has a grace from God to lead our family and oftentimes he is able to cut through all the back and forth and navigate a course for us. He knew this adoption and the timing were right. How blessed I am to have such a wonderful, Godly, generous husband. He prayerfully determines this course and truly works hard at providing every tool necessary for getting us there. He knew the timing was right and he relied on God's providence to work out the details. God used him and that unsuspecting woman from the homestudy agency to remind me to be at peace about this process.
That phone call, of course, changed everything. We needed to get a jump start on the update paperwork as some of the paperwork could take 30-60 days to get back and everything needed to be completed prior to the two year date.