Monday, April 20, 2009

Round Two

I was asked a few months ago to blog about our decision to adopt Juliana. I am asked that question rather frequently. We have three beautiful daughters and I think it is hard for some to understand why we would want to adopt more. Having been asked so often, you would think it would be easy to answer it. It isn't. There is no quick answer I can give that would encompass the many reasons we chose to grow our family through adoption.

The simplest answer is that we were called to adoption-- we just were called to it. We knew we would adopt before we had any issues with infertility, but our struggles with infertility and miscarriage opened our hearts wider and more quickly. We still hope for more biological children, but we know more deeply how much children are truly a gift from God.

Throughout our adoption process there were so many times we saw the hand of God guiding us. There are so many little stories I could tell of situations where we knew God was opening doors for us. These were little indications that we were indeed called to adopt. Now that we have Juliana it is amazing to think of all the little details that came together to bring this particular child into our family.

Yes, I love my girls. I never felt like they were not enough. It is precisely because of the unmatched joy they bring our lives that I would desire to add more children to our family. There is more work, I am more frazzled, but the happiness grows exponentially. There is even happiness in the chaos. Each child has brought a new dynamic to our family. I am so privileged to be a part of each of their lives.

We are incredibly blessed. We have every need met and most wants are met as well. We don't worry about when our next meal will come, and while our clothes may not be the most fashionable, they are adequate. Our children are blessed with doting friends and family and there are many times I feel overrun with toys. We certainly have enough to share.

I don't want it to sound as though we have no concerns. We have a mortgage, and we worry about sending the girls to college. We would like to have more in our retirement, and there are many household projects we would love to tackle. Adoption has meant that we have to postpone household projects, some indefinitely. We have had to make do with some things that we would really like to trade in.

When it was all said and done, though, there was no project, no upgrade, no feelings of financial security that were going to match the joy a new child would bring our family. There was no toy that I could give my children that would be better than the love of a new sibling. When we realized this, there was no turning back.

I am busier than ever with four girls, but I can still offer arms to hold, a lap to cuddle on, and a heart to love. We know that our girls will have some sacrifices to make with a new sibling, but ask them if they want to make those sacrifices. Everyone of them will give you an emphatic yes. The joy of a new sibling, a new playmate, a lifelong friend is worth these sacrifices. If we let our children decide, we might adopt ten more!

I could go on and on about the many reasons adoption fit our family. I could talk about the joy Juliana has brought our family, how these three short months with her have melted away any of the anxieties about adoption I had while we waited for her. I could talk about how amazing God's plans are. I could go on and on and on (maybe I already have)...

It would all just be a long way of saying that last week we made some decisions and began the paper chase to bring home another little one.

5 comments:

Therese said...

You said that so well, Nikki! Children are such a blessing no matter how they come into our lives.

Sara said...

Good for you! How exciting!

Regina said...

yay!!! good luck. we will be sure to keep your family in prayer!
r

KHM said...

Whoo Hoo - I think I am jealous!

It is an unbelievable experience - until you experience it.

We tell people we were called to do this, but in fact I think it was more like a 2X4 upside the head. We just KNEW.

Laura said...

I've have always been impressed and intrigued by the generous spirit of those called to adopt.
Bravo to you.
And thank you.