Back in the Groove

Blather on about why I took a blog break, then link to the new posts... That was the note I left myself about this post I wanted to write about trying to once again get back into the swing of regular blogging.

My guess is that with a smile like that, this little one is going to provide me with a lot of blog worthy material!

The truth is I'm busy. With eight kids to keep up with, a new pregnancy (blog announcement coming), school, laundry, fatigue, dinner, and countless other distractions, the blog just fell to the wayside. Then I started remembering why I started this blog in the first place. Not as a space that would have a major readership, but rather a family space to remind me of all the special blessings my children bring me each day. Many years ago I kept a digital journal of the funny things Hannah and Catie did as toddlers. I would have forgotten so many of them if I hadn't written them down. Now with the dog and pony show my home has become, it is more important than ever to chronicle our adventures.

My life sometimes--running around in circles and everything all a blur!

Hopefully in the coming weeks you will see more posts from me. I'd like there to be new posts about all of our current happenings, but also some "make-up" posts of all the special events that took place during my blog absence. Here's a list of what I hope will be some of those posts:

Where We Are Now
London
First Day of School
Christmas
When Eight Isn't Enough
Gabriel-isms

Birthday Posts:
Hannah
Mary
Catie
David
Peter
Gabriel

OK, that list looks intimidating. I'm just going to do my best.

What the World Needs Now

Is definitely NOT this...

I have blogged before about my feelings on girls' clothing. In many ways, having four girls has been a real blessing and joy. I enjoy their tea parties, their love of Little House and Anne of Green Gables. I love buying them hair clips and bows, cute tights and socks, purses and beads.

That being said, I DREAD clothes shopping for these girls after they pass the 4T size. In particular, I loathe casual clothes shopping for anyone over 5 when I am forced to purchase smaller-sized street walker clothing, or pay a small fortune for more appropriately styled clothing.

The article reads, "Little kids are so status-conscious about clothing now, more than ever," said Eli Portnoy, a branding strategist based here. "It was a natural evolution for young college, teenage brands: 'Why not go after them younger and get them hooked into our brands?' "

Status-conscious? Really? My Banana is 10, smack-dab in the horribly titled tween years. She is just starting to match her clothing, you know stripes can't be worn with plaids kind of thing. Her clothing choices revolve more around her interests. Her favorite shirt? It's the purple one with the soccer ball on it, certainly not because of the status it represents, but rather the fact she enjoys playing soccer. She spends more time trying to turn her clothing into outfits that resemble those of whatever books she is reading than deciding what sort of status it displays. Perhaps if we, as a society, were busier trying to market good books and activities, we would have less time to worry about making sure our 8 year olds were brand-conscious.

Both of my older girls are certainly entering new stages of their lives. Each day I am reminded they aren't the little girls they were, and I wonder how they grew so fast. Banana is starting to ask if her hair looks ok. Rather than six randomly placed clips, she has mastered pony tails and headbands. Bear is almost 8 and is a little more advanced in these areas because she has Banana as an example. They both have started to express clothing preferences and have started raiding my jewelry box. They get a real kick out of using my cucumber bath spray, pale pink nail polish, and clear lip gloss. I can't think of anything more harmful to their development than to have them more inundated with societal views of fashion.

Why can't we let them be kids? Why push teenage angst on 7-year olds? Marketing specifically to them shows how much materialism has permeated into every aspect of our society. My goal is to raise girls who can see beyond silly "status-conscious" clothing to see real beauty. I do hope to teach my girls to present themselves as the young women they want to become, but for now I am content to have them learn multiplication tables and the rules of soccer.

I also thought this quote was particularly interesting: "They've been dressing their penguins on Club Penguin or their Webkinz online," she said. "You put them in a shopping mall, they've got that behavior of 'I love to shop.'"

For a long time, dh was vehemently opposed to the Webkinz fad. I relented to them thinking that as long as we monitored their activity and did not allow our children to spend too much time with them, they were relatively harmless. Now I am beginning to wish I had listened a little more to his objections. He quickly saw the materialism and disliked how the whole Webkinz page was more an advertisement to buy more and less a child's game. He was more aware of the ploy to get kids to be consumers, teach them early the temporary happiness of materialism, real or virtual. I am not saying that Webkinz are evil, but I do wish I had thought a little more about the materialism I was introducing to my very young children.

Time

One of my favorite priests at a daily Mass said, "Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end the faster it rolls out." I thought that was pretty clever. Remember how slow time moved as a kid? There were interminable days of summer where I wondered if I would ever not be bored. I can remember years when I was certain Christmas would never arrive. I had the paper chain that never seemed to get any shorter. And I spent many days as a teenager convinced I would never be old enough to do whatever whim I was desperately clinging to that week.

Fast forward a few years (ok, more years than I want to admit) and I have to wonder where the time went. Today I got my first email message reminding me the holidays are around the corner and I need to start preparing. Heck, Target has had their Christmas stuff out for almost a month now. Any look at my oldest daughter is a stark reminder of how quickly time passes.

Tonight, my little Bophie fell asleep in my arms. She had a long day. Banana and Bear have classes on Thursday, so I have a little time with just Bophie. Today we went to run errands. We got coffees and dashed here and there and she didn't get her nap. Then we went to pick up the girls and she fell in the pool in her clothes. Luckily Mom was there to pull her out! It was an eventful day for her. She was so worn out that tonight during prayers she curled up in my arms and fell asleep-- fast asleep. I was at first thankful that tonight I wouldn't have to deal with her bedtime blues. Then, I was even more thankful for this time. She isn't a baby anymore, and pretty soon she won't crawl into my lap to be rocked to sleep. It was a moment of wanting that roll to unravel more slowly.

On the other hand, knowing we are next for matches (God-willing) has made the time since the last referrals seem ridiculously slow. I check much too often to see if there are new rumors about when the matches will arrive. I find myself wanting the end of the month to get here so we can see our little girl. We have been waiting almost three years and I am ready to finally get off this slow boat to China.

So I guess I am fickle and can't make up my mind. Speed up? Slow down? I'll take both :)

My rant about girls clothes

I am expecting a package tomorrow. I love Internet shopping. How nice is it to get something new come to the house? I like clicking to find the size I want, knowing instantly if it is available instead of sorting through rack after rack. It is also nice not to have to manage the mall with my three girls. My girls are fairly well-behaved (they have certainly had their moments, but for the most part are pretty good), and it can be fun to take them out and look through stores, get a frou-frou cup of coffee from Starbucks. It makes a perfect girl outing.

The problem? Have you seen the mall lately? I get tired of trying to strategize and come up with circuitous routes around the growing number of stores that market clothing for hookers and streetwalkers to my children. I cringe at the language of passer-bys. Then I get sticker shock from the few items of appropriate clothing I can find.

I never knew clothes shopping for an 8 year old girl could be so difficult or expensive. Once Banana hit a size 7, our choices became infinitely smaller and the prices for those options jumped exponentially. Why is it that clothes for a girls' size 7 look like they were made for 16 year olds? Some of the clothes would even be inappropriate for 16 year olds. I am stuck shopping at places I never dreamed I would shop because I find the prices unbelievable. Our package has jeans that were originally priced higher than I would pay for a pair of jeans for myself! Luckily, they were on sale and I had a coupon. But in order to get decent clothes at a decent price, I feel as though I have to constantly be shopping.

Why do these clothing designers market this stuff to kids? Can't an 8 year old be content to look like she is 8? Why encourage them to jump into teenage stuff? Looking back, are there many people who feel the teen years were the best in their life? Why not relish the few precious years of being a kid? I even hate the term tween. Why can't they just be kids?

I don't feel my girls should have to sacrifice nice clothes in order to be modest. I also don't understand why nice, fairly stylish, modest girls clothing has to cost an arm and a leg. I need my arms and legs to pay for gas and groceries.

Growing in Virtue

The purpose of my blog was/is to keep some sort of record of day-to-day life with my children. I set this up as my specific goal because I was a little intimidated by the countless other blogs out there. So many are funny, witty, intelligent, inspirational, etc. I knew if I tried to do anymore than keep a "journal" of life here, the results would pale to what is out there in the blogosphere. My main goal is to have a sort of scrapbook that someday my kids might enjoy reading. I am not a crafty person, so you won't find any other scrapbooks in this house.

However this is an article by Mark Shea I read yesterday and really enjoyed. While it is not really a story about my girls, I still thought it was blog worthy.

http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4601&Itemid=48

Here is a little excerpt:

The moment we go from framing the question in terms of trying to bargain our way out of damnation and instead put it in terms of seeking virtue, all the fog disappears. We no longer have to wonder just how close we can tiptoe up to adultery without committing it. We don't have to endure puzzlement about how near to hypothermia we can push our victim without it being torture. We don't have to microscopically parse the question, "How near to personhood should our victim be before it's wrong to burn him alive or tear him apart in his mother's womb?"

When you are working to be virtuous and not merely trying to get away with something, you don't do that kind of thing. The discussion begins on a different footing. You ask things like, "How can I love, honor, and cherish my wife and avoid the near occasion of sin?" You seek to interrogate prisoners in a framework of humane treatment and discover that people more readily divulge accurate information to people they trust than to people they hate and fear. You seek to care for women and their children without making it a kill-or-be-killed scenario.

You trust, in short, that Jesus knows what He's talking about when He tells us, "Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you as well."


It reminded me to take this approach as a mother. I may not have email conversations with Bill Clinton, but everyday I deal with little ones who are trying to "bargain their way out of damnation."I am daily bombarded with some little one giving me some excuse for pinching, poor schoolwork, or the mess in their room. I also am confronted with difficult questions like: "She gets to have 6 jellybeans, why do I only get 5 and a half?" There are also those impossible situations of one child teasing and the other finally having enough of the taunting, says something terribly hurtful.

In these situations, I need to not split hairs about blame, but rather encourage growth in virtue. Instead of sorting through who did what and how that fits on the scale of wrondoings, I need to remind my dear children we are called to kindness and sacrifice.

Maturity

Last night I had the opportunity to meet with some other homeschooling moms in our area. One conversation in particular reminded me how thankful I am to have the opportunity to stay at home and school my children. I really needed the reminder this week when I have been indulging too much in the this is not what I signed up for mentality.

My dear 8 year old still plays with dolls. She still dresses the doll she got for Christmas when she was 4. Said doll is a baby doll. It looks like a baby. It does not have a web page where you can chat with other friends, it does not look like a teenage rock star, it doesn't even require batteries. It is just a baby doll. Banana decided the doll should be a boy, so she dresses him in all the little baby boy clothes that we have never needed. I even remember at one point being so amazed at the indulgences she had when I succumbed to buying a package of newborn diapers for a doll. I had to use paper towels when I was young. How spoiled she was to get real diapers.

Now Bear (5) and Bophie (2) are all about their baby dolls. Bophie is so attached you have to pry it from her hands. Banana isn't like that anymore, but for years her doll went everywhere we went. She even fashioned various baby carriers so she could carry the baby like Mom. She doesn't do this so much anymore. Now she often prefers books or other games, but it is not uncommon to see her with her doll.

Some would say this playing with dolls is immaturity. Other kids her age would not be caught dead with a doll as those are baby toys. My Banana is not immature or babyish. She simply is not worldly. She plays with dolls because she is not affected by peers telling her she is babyish. She often picks up the doll to play with her younger sisters. This to me is more a sign of maturity. She is willing to put aside her desires to please her sisters and play with them. IMHO (in my humble opinion for those unfamiliar with blog speak), it is extremely important to distinguish between worldliness and maturity and not to confuse innocence with immaturity.

I hope Banana plays with dolls for years to come. I hope she is never caught up in the games and toys that keep other children of her generation from learning about family life. I am thankful for her innocence and willingness to be self-sacrificing. I know that this will lead to true maturity.