Juju Turns a Fabulous Five

In the midst of flu season, this little one had another birthday. Her birthday, in particular, sneaks up on me. It is the middle of our five early year birthdays. Every three weeks there is another birthday. This after just finishing up Christmas, and while trying to get a jump start on lent. This year not only did her birthday catch me off guard, so did the realization that she is growing up so quickly. Ask her what she wants for breakfast and she no longer answers yo-yo-yo, she now clearly says cereal. 

It seems just yesterday she was placed in my arms, sigh. How could that moment be more than four years ago? How anxious I was about adoption. How worried about how she would fit into our family.

Now those worries and anxieties seem silly. She is such a joy to our family. Her smiles light a room. She always wants to please. I still look at her small hand and wonder about all the little ways God's providence worked to bring her here to our family. How blessed we all are. 

I know all children watch their parents, but Juju seems to be particularly observant. She's very interested in Mom and Dad's affection. She even told me I need to kiss him more :) She also watches all the little things I do. She told me yesterday that sometimes she sneaks into my bathroom and pretends to put on my makeup. She knew just how my morning routine goes following each step I take. What a reminder to be a better mom...

Lent Starts With a Bang

Right now there are two throwing up kids, two more feverish kids, another just out of sorts, and two older girls healthy but disappointed that the weekend we'd planned for months had to be cancelled. This is what happens when the dreaded stomach flu hits a large family, especially a family with five children under the age of 5. I've seen more puke and poop than I'd ever imagined. Even dh was somewhat frustrated because we couldn't attend Mass as a family.

I might be the most downcast about the situation, though. I spent many, many, many hours cleaning the house and especially the basement for the houseful I thought we were going to have. I spent last week at home finishing that task, and then this week at home with sick kids. I'd love to have company since my house is clean, but no one dares enter this sick ward. I have a major case of cabin fever, but too many little ones who need Mom's care. All this on a much needed 3 day weekend. Thank goodness I have Lent to remind me to offer up these moments.

I'm not so good at that whole offering it up thing. I have it in my head things should be one way. The kids should clean up after themselves, the house should be tidy, things put where they belong, children who are quiet and not bickering. I think sometimes I expect that we should have the picture perfect house and family. My experience with postpartum is that these feelings are amplified. I feel the need to prove I can handle it all.

Instead I have boys who are often more like puppies tussling through the house. I have girls who bicker over purses and what to pack in their lunches. There are coats, and shoes, and an unending supply of bobby pins and match box cars to step on pick up. Then I get so frustrated at the clutter and the squabbling. I forget to take a step back and enjoy my children and home, warts and all.

"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life—the life God is sending one day by day; what one calls one’s ‘real life’ is a phantom of one’s own imagination. This at least is what I see at moments of insight: but it’s hard to remember it all the time.”--C.S. Lewis

 I think to myself, "This isn't who I thought I'd be, this isn't the life I thought I'd have." I don't exactly know what kind of life I thought I would have. I just know this isn't what the magazine covers had me think it would be. I guess I never really imagined that in a house of eight children we might on occasion be struck with something as ugly as the stomach flu.

Then I get one of those "moments of insight" Lewis is talking about. A sweet girl asks if there are other babies in China that die instead of finding moms and I'm compelled to pull her in my arms and tell her yes, but they are with God in heaven and pray for us. The fact she is here means God has a purpose for her life and she should serve him faithfully in thanksgiving for the gift of another day. In telling her, I'm reminded I must do the same.

Then once my heart is softened, more moments come. A little baby girl smiles at me after throwing up again, still so sweet despite this miserable bug. Her 3-year old brother, who is her opposite in bearing sickness, has me laughing at his overly dramatic antics, "My teeth hurts, there's something wrong with my rump, I can't breathe, I think I'm gonna die..." His oldest sister spends a day at a retreat and the fruits of her prayers are brilliantly displayed on her face as she prays in Mass.

On this First Sunday of Lent I am striving to remember these interruptions, this miserable stomach bug, is what God has sent me. It is my real life. I am trying to live up to the advice given to a sweet daughter to be thankful for another day and strive to live out this calling to motherhood given me, but I still hope for no more stinky diapers and buckets to clean.

Pure Sweetness

If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it.  I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle. 

--Vincent van Gogh

Ellie Belly's half birthday came during such a busy week. I am just now getting a good six month picture. I figure that's just what comes from being an eighth child. At least I'm getting pictures of her, right? It seems unfathomable this little one is already half way to her first birthday. Yet it is equally bewildering that she has only been with our family a short six months. It seems she has always held a place in our hearts. The joy of babies seems to transcend time. It is this crazy mix of how can she have grown so fast even though it is sometimes hard to remember life before her. I've had that timeless feeling with every child, and even though we've done this a few times, I am still amazed at how much love a baby brings and how intensely they make us aware of the beauty of life. Ellie already holds a unique, invaluable place in our home. Even with seven siblings, she brings a whole new beautiful dynamic to our family and I feel blessed she has been given to us. 

Finally Gabriel's Birthday

This is my Gabey Baby. He's a nut. Yes, of course a Buckeye, but also just a nut in general. He says the funniest things, he has a wacky sense of style, and everything is all in with him. 

I'd be lost without his bear hugs, his crazy questions, his constant chatter. Last week while in the bathroom he tells me he needs me to call Dad. He chatters on about how Dad just needs to come home early today. When I ask him what he needs, he just tells me that he has a few more important questions to ask him. I tell him he can ask me, but Gabe insists only Dad knows the answers to his questions. The boy is only three. I know I'm in for it as he gets older.

For weeks I heard of nothing else but his Fire truck party. His cousins had both had fabulous parties, one monster themed and the other school bus themed. Gabe decided then he was having a firetruck party and talked of nothing else for weeks. Every day I was asked if it was his party yet. The day finally came and he had his fire truck party. Then a few days later he was asked by a friend how his party was. He responded in typical Gabriel fashion and began, "The problem was..." then went into a monologue about how he had to share his party with Peter. Oy that kid...

On his actual birthday he got his own cake. I even tweaked my frosting recipe to make it peanut butter flavored. I think it was a hit and he didn't even have to share it.

For Christmas Gabe wanted Buzz Lightyear, then for his birthday he wanted Woody. We watched Toy Story 3 last night and I couldn't help but see my little guy in the character Andy. It made me think how quickly time will fly. On those days where his little boy antics wear me out, I needed the reminder that one day I will miss them. So today I gave him an extra big bear hug.

Happy third birthday little guy!

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater

Since I'm on a roll with pictures, I thought I'd add a post with the pictures we sent in with Peter's 6 month Post Adoption Report.

 It seems amazing he has only been here six months as he has always been part of our family.

And even though a picture speaks a thousand words, there is so much behind these glimpses of his first moments with us. No picture could convey the exhaustion, the difficulties, or the love and joy of bonding with this sweet boy.

He's become such a sweet little brother, recently learning to give fist bumps in true third brother fashion.

He's developed quite a sweet tooth. He's even cried when presented with a beautiful plate of food with no sweets on it.

He loves his Dad, but is still Mommy's boy.

And still has a soft spot for Grandpa too.

How blessed we are to have this sweet boy.

As a side note, this video was posted on a friend's wall on Facebook. It is very moving and in many ways sums up why we made the decision to go back and adopt Peter. It was, in some aspects, a difficult decision as we were struggling to find the energy and organization to care for the six children we had. It was difficult to think of the finances involved in a third adoption, and we were just unsure we could swing it. One night when our six children were sleeping,  I said to dh, "If that were one of our kids, what would we do? Would we worry about college, or retirement? Would we be too tired? Or would we move heaven and earth to go get that child out of the orphanage?" We talked about our stress in light of a little one hanging onto life because it was too cold and there was not enough food-- and we knew. We knew we were called to go back. To do all we could to help one more. I can't help but feel joy every time I look at Peter.

Pumpkin Eater Turns Two

While this is Peter's second birthday, it is probably the first birthday he's been able to celebrate. It's hard to believe that it was just a year ago that we were gearing up for our trip to bring this little guy home. We've seen that serious look on his face quite a bit this first year, but every day it's there a little less. For the most part we get smiles now unless he's somewhere unfamiliar, or if everyone is looking at him. 

Each day we see more of his personality emerging. Yesterday while trying to dress the crew of boys, he had already been changed and dressed, but when he saw the changing pad out and heard me call Joseph he came running and quickly laid down. When he heard my reaction he gave out the most mischievous little laugh. He's going to be a little prankster. He's also a little climber and has some serious flexibility to go with that little build. He and Juju have some incredible gymnastic skills. Unlike Juju, Peter has little fear.

As the third little boy, he's going to need these skills to negotiate with his older brothers. This threesome certainly keeps me on my toes. 

Peter is all about food. He doesn't tolerate being hungry and boy is he ever particular. He especially likes sweets and snacks. He wants to be just like his brothers and often asks to sit at the table at meal time. It was amusing to watch him try to tackle pizza. 

How blessed we are to have this sweet, quiet, special boy. He melts my heart with his infectious laugh, his desire to be loved, and his crazy antics. I am so thankful he was given to our family. What an amazing gift. 

My Christmas Miracle

I've not been faithful at keeping up the blog. I'd like to say it is a new year's resolution, but the truth is life with so many little ones often gets in the way of blogging. I wish I could get to it more. I like remembering the life we've lived. God willing I'll post more, that's just the best I can do.

See this little one... 

She just celebrated her first Christmas. It was beautiful. She had a little cough, ok a big cough that had me worried. Still, by Christmas, she was her smiling beautiful self.

It reminded me that last Christmas was very different. A year ago I went from feeling overwhelmed at the thought of a new baby to immeasurable grief when I thought we'd lost her. Then feelings of elation when I saw that sweet little heartbeat on the ultrasound monitor. How blessed am I to have had this year with her.

You can read that story here.