The Baptism of Mary Elizabeth

"You see how many are the benefits of baptism, and some think its heavenly grace consists only in the remission of sins, but we have enumerated ten honors it bestows! For this reason we baptize even infants, though they are not defiled by personal sins, so that there may be given to them holiness, righteousness, adoption, inheritance, brotherhood with Christ, and that they may be Christ’s members"
-- St. John Chrysostom (Baptismal Catecheses in Augustine, Against Julian 1:6:21 [A.D. 388]).

It took us awhile to get everything lined up for the baptism of our eighth little one, but it was God's timing and a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Little Mary Elizabeth was welcomed into the Church on Sunday September 23. I know it's taken me awhile to get this post out too. These days it seems to take me awhile to do most anything. :)

How blessed I am to have this man as the most wonderful husband there could possibly be. He loves the memory of his grandfather at a family gathering looking around and remarking, "Look what Lil and I started." I have visions of dh saying those same words some day. I never imagined we'd baptize eight children, I'm sure he didn't either. I'm so thankful my children have him as a father, that they see him really live his faith. He is a gift to me and them.

Is there any sweeter smell than that of a new baby christened with holy oils? I really don't think so. The hope new babies and baptism bring to our world all mingle together in that beautiful scent. God gives us so many wonderful gifts.

I can't help but post this picture of the baptismal gown my talented sister took after the baptism. I've posted about it before, but it means so much to me. The gown has been worn by most of our children (Joseph and Peter were too big) and was made by Sophia's godmother from a piece of my wedding gown.

Our first picture with all the new family members. How blessed we truly are. 

My (very meager) Witness for Life

“Give us the grace – When the sacredness of life before birth is attacked, to stand up and proclaim that no one ever has the authority to destroy unborn life.” ~ Pope John Paul II, from a homily given in 1979


Each year I dream of attending the March for Life, each year it seems my commitment to the culture of life keeps me from going. This year another adoption and birth means we have no vacation time to spare and one mom with six kids in a packed red eye bus just sounds like a disaster. However, our church sent four buses this year. Praise God! My friends certainly have my prayers today.


Instead this morning my march for life was to take six kids to yet another doctor's appointment. I had to do this Friday as well. I know it is a small and meager offering, but loading up all these little ones (especially with the winter weather that has finally arrived), corralling them in a waiting room, keeping them entertained in a tiny exam room, and somehow through the chaos conversing with the doctor can be overwhelming for me. It takes more energy and patience than I have.


It isn't that my children are poorly behaved. In fact, I usually get many comments about how well behaved and helpful they are. I do wish I saw more of that good behavior and helpfulness at home. It's just that we are the center of attention from the moment we arrive. No matter how well behaved or inconspicuous we try to be, as soon as we walk into those waiting rooms all eyes are on us. Then come the endless well-meaning questions that leave me feeling like the bearded lady at the freak show. I muddle through questions, but I struggle with the inevitable responses. The most common of these is, "You must be a saint!" Seriously, what am I supposed to say to that? "You should've seen me twenty minutes ago as I brow beat them all into the car, then you'd never doubt my status as mom-- not saint."


Maybe it is just an over-sensitivity from years of feeling like a side show at the circus, but I think there is more than a curiosity about our family. I think some people convince themselves that I must be somehow different because if I'm just a normal mom like them, it somehow threatens their reasons for not having more children. If I am just as unorganized, impatient, battle-weary, and overwhelmed as they are, perhaps another child isn't as impossible as it sounds. Maybe these aren't even their real reasons for not wanting another child. This makes them uncomfortable and it is just easier to make me seem like the bionic, or maybe just crazy lunatic, mom.


Today, I tried to witness to life by more patiently answering the questions about my family, by showing what a blessing all life is. I know it isn't the same as the support of those dear friends sacrificing sleep, warmth, and convenience by making the trek to DC. It was, however, my calling today. It was a prayer on my part that our country recognize the gravity of the lives lost for  mere convenience.

A Little Boy and His Patron Saint

While today is abuzz with Divine Mercy and the beatification of JPII, it is also the feast of St. Joseph the Worker. What a great day to be Catholic!

Joseph is already quite enamored with his patron saint. He regularly has chats with St. Joseph in our backyard. It was St. Joseph, protector of families, whom we invoked to watch over our Joseph before he joined our family.
He tried to do this at our church too, but the end result was, well, disastrous. Thankfully, this statue has held up so far to Joseph's affections. Each morning, dh prays the following beautiful prayer. I thought it appropriate as we head into Monday after a day of such wonderful feasting. We will be praying it as we diligently push forward to complete our school year.

O Glorious St. Joseph, model of all those who are devoted to labor, obtain for me the grace to work conscientiously, putting the call of duty above my natural inclinations, to work with gratitude and joy, in a spirit of penance for the remission of my sins, considering it an honor to employ and develop by means of labor the gifts received from God, to work with order, peace, moderation and patience, without ever shrinking from weariness and difficulties, to work above all with purity of intention and detachment from self, having always death before my eyes and the account that I must render of time lost, of talents wasted, of good omitted, of vain complacency in success, so fatal to the work of God.

All for Jesus, all through Mary, all after thine example, O Patriarch, St. Joseph. Such shall be my watch-word in life and in death.

-- St. Pius X

Ailments of the Throat

Early in my conversion I fell in love with the saints. I was inspired and fascinated with the examples of virtue. I grew in my faith by leaps and bounds as I learned more and more about the Church Triumphant. When my kids were born, I was determined these holy people would be their heroes. We would read about them, learn about them, use them as constant intercessors. Naturally, some saints became family patrons. St. Joseph, St. Therese, St. Frances of Rome, and many more. All of our children are named for saints we hope they will emulate.

This Thursday is the feast of St. Blaise. As a long time sinus sufferer, sore throats have been a common occurrence for me especially in this Midwest climate with weather that goes up and down. For many years, we received his throat blessing with beautiful blessed candles (I love the candles intertwined). For those unfamiliar with St. Blaise, he is the patron of throat ailments, he received this distinction because he cured a boy choking on a fish bone. On his feast the following blessing is given by priests:

May God at the intercession of St. Blasius preserve you from throat troubles and every other evil.

While I was familiar with St. Blaise and received the blessing, I didn't make much of it. I didn't really find myself asking the intercession of St. Blaise on the occasion I had a sore throat.

Then a few years ago it occurred to me that I had a bigger throat issue than the occasional post nasal drip. That the physical suffering was small in comparison to the spiritual suffering I was enduring, and inflicting on others, by the things I said. That in reality I was much more ailed by a sharp tongue than a sharp fish bone.

Now on this beautiful feast I not only ask to be preserved from physical ailments of the throat, but also to be preserved from the uncharitable, unkind, sharp words that well up in my throat. I recommit myself, with the help of St. Blaise's intercession, to work harder at making sure my throat and words are used to help others and myself grow in faith. To be certain, I will fail before the day is out, but I now see this feast as a necessary tool in my battle to tame my tongue.

O glorious St. Blaise, who by your martyrdom left to the Church a precious witness to the Faith, obtain for us the grace to preserve within ourselves this divine gift, and to defend — without concern for human respect — both by word and example, the truth of that same Faith, which is so wickedly attacked and slandered in these our times. You miraculously restored a little child who was at the point of death because of an affliction of the throat.

Grant us your mighty protection in similar misfortunes. And, above all, obtain for us the grace of Christian mortification, together with faithful observance of the precepts of the Church, which keep us from offending almighty God. Amen.

**Updated to add: I must really need this lesson this year for just after I posted this, I clicked my way to this post.

Doesn't this sound a lot like me: "we have learned to tame just about every wild animal, but the tongue, such a small part of us physically is barely able to be tamed. One may conquer many sins by God’s grace, but speech is usually the last. It almost seems that a different and lower part of our brain has a life of its own when it comes to speech. We can be halfway through saying something before we even realize how stupid and sinful we are being. Every now and then we even forget who we’re talking to or that what we say might get repeated." Do read the full post by Msgr. Pope

Overheard at the Dinner Table

Bear asks, "Why is there a pink candle on our Advent wreath? What is it for?

Banana responds in a very knowing tone of voice, "It's for Al dente Sunday."

This on a night we were having lasagna for dinner...

Memorizing The Ten Commandments

A few years ago, when Banana was a third grader, dh began teaching third grade CCD at our parish. I wasn't sure how this would go, but I constantly have parents telling me what a great teacher he is. This happens so much I wonder if he shouldn't be schooling our children, but alas, he won't quit his day job. I guess that's a good thing.

The first year he taught, his assistant introduced a method for memorizing the ten commandments which he has modified and continued to teach. A friend was asking about this method, so I thought I'd share it here.

1. Hold up one finger- God should be first-- No other gods before him.
2. Hold up two fingers- This forms a V for vain-- Don't use the Lord's name in vain.
3. Hold up three fingers- This forms a W for worship-- Sundays are for worship and rest.
4. Use four fingers to salute- Honor your Father and Mother.
5. Use five fingers to make a fist- Don't kill.
6. Use three fingers on each hand to form a heart- Don't commit adultery.
7. Hold up two fingers on one hand, use all five fingers on the other to grab the two fingers- Don't steal.
8. Use four fingers on each hand to form binoculars over your eyes- Don't bear false witness. This also forms the number 8 when you take them off your eyes and turn them sideways.
9. Hold up the ring finger (other nine are down)- Don't covet neighbor's wife.
10. Use all ten fingers to cover your eyes- Don't covet neighbor's goods.

I hope he doesn't mind me sharing his trade secrets. He claims this works so well that he can ask any of his kids to tell him any commandment and they answer correctly and promptly. Now, if only he could find a method for teaching fractions :)

Happy Feast of All Saints

"Today, my dear Christians, is a day on which, more than on any other, the faithful look up to heaven and reflect, how supremely happy the saints are who enjoy the bliss of heaven at the throne of God; a day on which, by meditating on the never-ending happiness of the saints, an ardent longing is stirred in our hearts that we may one day take part in this happiness."


"Dear Christians! We all have to-day the desire—yes, even the ardent longing—to enjoy one day with the saints in heaven their glory and their happiness. But let us consider well that the Christian whose thoughts and actions are only directed toward transitory treasures, honors, and pleasures is not on the path where the joys of heaven are found. Christians must not desire what is earthly, but what is heavenly; not what is false, but what is true; not what is temporary and fleeting, but what is eternal and never-ending. Therefore our hearts must not be set upon the treasures, honors, and pleasures of this world, so that we may not miss the end for which we were created—heaven. "For what doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his own soul?" (Matt. xvi. 26). Our Saviour calls to us Christians and exhorts us to strive after the happiness of heaven with these words: "Seek first the kingdom of God" (Matt. vi. 33). "The fool," says St. Ambrose, "holds with them who are of the world; the wise man prefers the eternal glory of heaven" (Serm. 37)."

-- Cure de Ars, excerpts from Sermon for the Feast of All Saints

Happy All Saints Day!

A Day Late

This beautiful picture was going to be my Wordless Wednesday post, but yesterday slipped away before I had a chance to get it out there. Since I didn't get it posted, it doesn't have to be wordless, right?

Each year our wonderful parish invites a group of consecrated (habited) women to come and speak at a luncheon for the mothers and daughters of the parish. The hope is that the girls will get a chance to see that these sisters are normal women who lead a beautiful life. The sisters sit at the tables with the ladies and girls and share stories of what it is like to lead a consecrated life. My girls enjoy this every year, although I think some of their joy is from the pancakes piled high with chocolate and strawberries.

The sister in this picture told a wonderful story of her call to her vocation. She spoke of her parents' love for each other and the Church. She credited her vocation largely to her parents. She spoke of the beauty of watching her mother pray and teaching her to pray, and of memories of going to adoration in the middle of the night with her father. I hope my daughters were inspired by her love of Christ, I know I was.

Sister (I wish I could remember her name, but I am terrible about that) is from this order. Pray for them as they celebrate their jubilee year.

Thank you KV for the lovely picture. I brought my camera, but my hands always seemed too full of little ones to get the opportunity to snap a few pictures. Thankfully, I have dear friends always there to help out!

Bear's First Communion

Lord, Father all-powerful and ever-living God, I thank You, for even though I am a sinner, your unprofitable servant, not because of my worth but in the kindness of your mercy, You have fed me with the Precious Body & Blood of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.

I pray that this Holy Communion may not bring me condemnation and punishment but forgiveness and salvation.

May it be a helmet of faith and a shield of good will. May it purify me from evil ways and put an end to my evil passions. May it bring me charity and patience, humility and obedience, and growth in the power to do good.

May it be my strong defense against all my enemies, visible and invisible, and the perfect calming of all my evil impulses, bodily and spiritual. May it unite me more closely to you, the One true God, and lead me safely through death to everlasting happiness with You.

And I pray that You will lead me, a sinner, to the banquet where you, with Your Son and holy Spirit, are true and perfect light, total fulfillment, everlasting joy, gladness without end, and perfect happiness to your saints. Grant this through Christ our Lord, Amen.

--St. Thomas Aquinas

Friday Food for Thought-- the Long Edition

Have you read Jen's post about breaking the will of God? If not, do so. It is amazing. I haven't been able to get it off my mind. I was preparing a comment and thought that instead of rambling on in her combox, I would post my protracted response here so as not to bore her readers.

This post obviously strikes many chords with me personally. The caller and I have much in common. I have three biological children and recently adopted a fourth and am in the process to adopt a fifth (special needs) child, and pregnant with the sixth. Do I ever get that nagging voice in the back of my head that says I am really doing this for some prideful reasons? Yes. Do I ever feel as though I am thwarting the will of God by adopting? Do I worry about the impact these decisions have on my other children? Are there moments I think we must be crazy? Yes, yes, and heck yes.

I had those feelings more intensely prior to Juliana's adoption. I felt I was somehow tempting fate bringing into our family a child I knew nothing about. If God wanted me to have more children wouldn't he have given us another pregnancy or spared us the pain of so many miscarriages? I would have moments of doubt, and then I would feel guilty for having doubts. I worried about our intentions, I worried we were biting off more than we could chew. I constantly prayed we were doing God's will, but since God doesn't send us handwritten messages giving us detailed descriptions of exactly how He would like us to carry out His will, I worried we were off the mark.

Then I realized God gave me these desires, he put in my heart the desire for children. My desire to be a good mother was precisely because it is through that vocation I could best serve Him. Yes, I could still be prideful, but that didn't mean He didn't will for us to adopt a child. In some ways, those doubts were more temptations to pride. I needed to accept who I was and who God was. Without Him, I don't even have the power to make mistakes. To expect that unless I am perfect in my intentions, I am not carrying out God's will simply cannot be true. My intentions will never be perfect, I am human. I have to trust that God will bring good as long as I do my best to serve Him now, which means acknowledging my failures, confessing them, and then working hard to serve him better next time.

Perhaps my favorite paragraph from Jen's post was:

"What I eventually learned that has brought me immeasurable peace on this subject is that it's more important to ponder how God can bring good out of any situation -- even bad, sinful situations that are the result of fallible humans' mistakes -- than it is to ponder what the details of his will are for any specific scenario. I've stopped spending so much time asking "Was this God's will?" and am trying to spend more time asking, "How can I serve God in love at this moment, right now?" Maybe the situation I'm in is the result of a bad move, but as long as I keep turning to God there will be an opportunity to bring love out of it."

I can't say it any more eloquently than that. Her recommendation of the book He Leadeth Me is one I heartily second. I read and blogged a little about this gem of a book last spring. There are any number of issues in our little household in which we find ourselves looking for God's will and asking ourselves are we clouding His will with our own desires. They come in the form of how we manage our finances, how we manage our time, our discipline techniques, our schooling choices. Really, the list is endless. As I quoted in that older post,

"To predict what God's will is going to be, to rationalize about what his will must be, is at once a work of human folly and yet the subtlest of all temptations. The plain and simple truth is that his will is what he actually wills to send us each day, in the way of circumstances, places, people, and problems. The trick is to learn to see that-- not just in theory, or not just occasionally in a flash of insight granted by God's grace, but every day..."
From He Leadeth Me by Fr. Walter Ciszek.

Now that Juliana has been part of our family for almost a year, so many of those doubts have melted away. Before the adoption, even on the plane ride to China, I worried about our decision. Now I can't imagine life without her. On the plane ride home, Juliana had a terrible fever. It was higher than any of my children had ever experienced. I was worried sick for her and I was tired from the whirlwind trip we had taken, and an exhausting plane ride. On the 11 hour flight from Tokyo, I sat next to a Korean man. He had two daughters of his own. He asked about Juliana and was shocked to learn we had three more little girls at home. He asked if I really thought I could love Juliana as much as my biological children. Had he asked me that question two weeks earlier on the flight to China, I might have been hesitant. However, after two short weeks, looking at that dear sweet child, sick as she was, I already knew the answer, I already loved her that much.

When I think back on the process, the moment I truly realized this was without a doubt God's plan-- Juliana's baptism. No matter what my intentions were, no matter how flawed I was, this child, solely through God's providence was welcomed into the His family, His church. That moment was so monumental, I knew that my intentions were completely insignificant and I thanked God for taking them and making something of beauty beyond comprehension.

Reporters

I know you have all had one of those Sunday mornings... The one where no one has clean dresses, and if they are clean they are wrinkled and in terrible need of an iron. One where you walk into the closet and surrounded by clothes, nothing seems "right." It could be that the weather is warming up and summer dresses are only a reminder of winter's over indulgences. A morning where you just feel two steps behind and wonder if you will ever make it to Mass presentably and on time. That was my Sunday morning. We made it, but I just felt off.

As we were leaving Mass, I was approached by a reporter from the local paper. She began by telling me how nice all the girls and I looked. While I thought she was just paying me an undue compliment, it turns out she was writing an article on women (and girls) dressing more formally for Mass. She asked if I always wore a dress to church and if I required that from my daughters.

I do require that for the most part the girls wear a modest dress to Mass. I also try to do the same.

I had a hard time answering her initial questions. After a morning of scrambling and making-do, I felt unprepared to answer questions about dressing up for Mass. Luckily I have had this conversation on a few occasions and was able to remember some of them. I liked an analogy a friend used about how we would dress if we were invited to the home of some dignitary, our boss, or the Pope. We wouldn't show up in our ratty clothes, but rather we would make an attempt to be presentable. Mass is coming to the house of our Lord, how much more should we prepare ourselves? I feel that making a few extra efforts on Sunday morning teaches my girls that going to Mass is special.

I do think this must be balanced with remembering we are not attending a fashion show. I don't think it is necessary to dress to the nines, nor do I think we need to spend excessive time and energy in our physical appearance. In fact, in some cases, time would be better spent Spiritually preparing for the mystery about to take place. And let's face it, we have all had worse mornings than what I had where dressing up just isn't possible. As with most things, balance is key. I also firmly believe being at church is of primary importance, our dress is secondary.

I am glad I went through the extra frustration on Sunday to get everyone ready for Mass. I hope that I was able to adequately answer the reporter's questions. I also learned my lesson and finished the laundry earlier this week. Let's hope this Sunday morning goes a little more smoothly too.

P.S. The picture above is not from Sunday (it is from Easter). This Sunday, no one looked that nice and there was no need to document it with a picture.

Peace

Since receiving the news of little Joseph things have been hectic. There is so much paperwork to be done on top of the business of life with four children. There are times I get a little anxious about how we are going to do this. None of my girls have even had stitches, will I really be able to deal with surgeries? I read message boards and start to get a little overwhelmed.

In one of those anxious moments, while searching for more information about our little one, I came across this quote on the web page that announced the arrival of our child into the foster home where he is currently receiving care:

“Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work.”
– Mother Teresa

A quote from Mother Teresa published by the people caring for our little child! It just shows the hand of God in this adoption. It is another reminder for me to put my hope in the Lord. He has already given me a beautiful sense of peace about this adoption. This quote was just another instance of Him reminding me how much He is guiding this process. I am thankful for this little consolation on an anxious morning.

He is Risen!!

Happy Easter Week!

We had an absolutely beautiful Easter Sunday! The girls woke extra early to hunt for baskets. Their excitement was contagious. Even Juliana was excited, she woke up all smiles. I couldn't help but to think how different her life is here. I am sure there was no merry-making occurring in her orphanage, but in our home merriment abounded.

I was convinced that this was finally the year I would stump dh. Every year I think I have the perfect hiding spot for his basket, and every year he finds it too quickly. I hid it in the underside of the recliner, up in the mechanism. There was no way he was going to find it. I had him too. Then my overly precocious six year old managed to move the chair and knock down some of the candy. When she went to clean it up (it was a baby choking hazard), she found my clever hiding spot and gave it away to dh... Note to self- next year tape down the basket and leave no loose candies!

Mass was the highlight of our day. It was beautifully full of spring flowers in contrast to the bareness of Good Friday, and the music was truly amazing. I lingered after Mass wanting to stay there all day to be with Our Lord. I wanted to surround myself with the joy of His resurrection. On our return, I was especially thankful for the lilies at home. It made our mantel a small replica of the altar at church. Banana said they were trumpets heralding the resurrection. She is right!

We also had a wonderful family dinner. Lots of good food, good company, and a fun Easter egg hunt.

Adoramus Te

An excerpt from Bishop Connoly's Good Friday sermon:

In our contemplation of the Cross we discover the “sign of contradiction.” This is at the heart of the Paschal Mystery, the coming together of apparent opposites: suffering and healing, death and resurrection, defeat and victory, agony and glory.

And yet they are not really opposites. Self-giving is a necessary prerequisite for perfect freedom, and perfect freedom constitutes new life and glory.

I think one of the most powerful and mysterious lines in Mel Gibson’s popular movie, The Passion of the Christ, is when our Lord meets His dear Mother along the Way of the Cross, as she comes to His side when He falls, yet again, under the weight of the Cross. Looking into her compassionate and sorrowful eyes He tells her, “Don’t you see, Mother? I make all things new.” Now these words are not found in the Gospel, but are actually in the Book of the Apocalypse (21:5), and the filmmaker superimposes these words on the lips of Jesus for dramatic effect.

Nonetheless, the scene conveys a powerful and mysterious truth. Through humility and obedience to the will of God, we make all things new. The glory of Jesus, particularly in St. John’s Gospel, is the glory of obedience and self-giving. The glory of the Resurrection merely crowns the glory which Jesus had already obtained by His obedience to His Father’s will.

In the words of our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI: “[Christ’s] crucifixion is His coronation; His coronation or kingship is His surrender of Himself to men.”

Full Text Here

Adoramus Te, Christe, et benedicimus Tibi, Quia per sanctam crucem Tuam redemisti mundum, Domine, miserere nobis!

We adore Thee, O Christ, And we bless Thee, Who by the holy cross have redeemed the world, Who have suffered for us! Lord, have mercy upon us!

A Future Vocation?

Bear once told a boy (a son of dear friends) she might be a nun when she gets older. This little 4-year old has quite a little crush on her. He wanted to buy her a weal wedding wing from a gumball machine once when our families were together at a pizza joint. After Bear's declaration that Jesus might want her to be a nun he responds, "I don't like nuns."

Saturday we were driving to a pig roast at our parish. Banana asks a question about highways and what type of roads were there before them. Dh answers her by telling her about a road that runs parallel to the highway that he has taken when traffic was bad. He says it was very scenic and if he remembers correctly, there is an old convent on the road.

Bear responds, "If there is a convent there, and Jesus calls me to be a nun when I get old, I think I'll go to that convent so that I can still be close to you guys." My heart melts and I am hoping she will always want to be so close to us. Then she follows up with, "But I really want a convent where they will let me pray in the chapel a lot." I think my heart skipped a beat.

It is amazing how much joy a 5-year old can bring her parents.